Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-30
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.
To what extent do you agree with this opinion?
How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 5.5)
In this modern temperament some people believe that primary schools focus more on formal learning, while other consider academic activities beneficial. I strongly agree that children ought to play as well as learn in the primary school and there should be balance in between formal learning and extra curricular activities including sports and games.
If there will be academic pressure on the pupils, they cannot groom well. Also there will be flaws in there personalities. For instance, there brain development and creativity wii be badly affected. In addition, they will just remain living roborts, who follow instructions without separate identity and mindset.
When a pupil gets opportunities, he thrives and develops different abilities. For example, a boy or girl remains involve in sports and play with others, he or she can be either a good leader or team- member. Furthermore, by playing with others he adopts different caracteristics like dedication, discipline, tolerence and positivity.
A student who is studying, but not active in supporting activities cannot learn communication skills. He can obtain good grades but cannot attain long term goals. As he did not consider this world his oestar and did not improve himself. So despite having academic records, he will be shy and feel hesitation while communicating with different groups.
In summary, academics is reallty important, because it is first priority, but excessive burden of studies can prove problematic. If there will be a balance in between studies and other activities like sports and games this will broden the horizen of pupils, and it will develop different capabilities in them.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5
The response addresses all parts of the two-part prompt by discussing both the extent of agreement regarding formal learning and the importance of play in primary schools. The writer takes a clear position in the introduction stating that 'there should be balance in between formal learning and extra curricular activities'. Ideas are extended with examples concerning brain development, leadership skills, and communication. However, some arguments tend to over-generalize, such as stating that students not involved in supporting activities 'cannot learn communication skills' or will become 'living roborts'. While the ideas are relevant and support the prompt well, the development remains somewhat limited in depth, placing the response solidly at Band 6.0.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5
The essay has a coherent overall arrangement with a clear introduction and conclusion. Paragraphing is used to separate distinct ideas, such as the psychological impacts of pressure and the social benefits of play. However, cohesion is sometimes faulty or mechanical. For instance, the transition 'If there will be...' is repeated structurally, and referencing is occasionally unclear, as seen in 'As he did not consider this world his oestar'. Cohesive devices are used, but their application lacks the flexibility and smooth progression expected at higher bands. Therefore, a Band 6.0 is appropriate for Coherence and Cohesion.
Lexical Resource: Band 5.5
The student displays an adequate vocabulary range for the task, attempting some less common items such as 'extracurricular activities', 'creativity', 'dedication', and 'discipline'. However, there are numerous spelling and word-choice errors that detract from the writing, including 'temperament' instead of 'contemporary time', 'roborts' instead of 'robots', 'caracteristics', 'tolerence', 'oestar' (likely intended as 'oyster'), and 'reallty'. Although these errors do not severely impede overall communication, their frequency prevents the score from reaching a Band 6.5. A Band 5.5 is warranted here due to noticeable lexical and spelling inaccuracies.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0
The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, such as conditional clauses ('If there will be academic pressure on the pupils, they cannot groom well'). However, there are frequent grammatical errors, particularly with tense agreement and conditional structures, such as 'there brain development' (their) and 'If there will be a balance'. Punctuation is also occasionally problematic, with comma splices and missing commas. While the meaning is generally communicated, the persistent errors in grammar mean the majority of sentences are not error-free, aligning best with the Band 5.0 descriptors.
See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.
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