Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-30

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.0)

Nowadays, education in primary schools has become more formal. Some people belive that primary schools are focusing too much on formal learning. Moreover, playing in essential as well as learning in the primary schools. While this may be true to some extent, it also have the disadvantages. In this essay we will discuss the both sides of the topic.

Firstly, individuals would argue that education system in the primary schools is totaly opposite to the human nature. They are treating the young children as a machine and puting a lot of burden on them. In globle world, primary schools are making the curriculum tough day by day which is an a rising threat for the childrens mental health. The government should legislate to the education system to include only basic things in the curriculum at early ages.

Secondly, they assert that primary schools should arrange play area in the classrooms because playing is crucial for the children as well as learning. However, its the duty of the teachers to provide a friendly atmosphere to the students in the classrooms. For instance, for children who are fanatical about playing there should be a playing area. Which leads to a healthy learning atmosphere.

In my opinion, this is a significant issue who needs to be ironed out. The government should take an eye on the primary schools. In addition, classrooms should be designed according to the need of young children.

In conclusion, in the modern world, schools are puting too much burden on the children. As a result, they have less time to play and physicsl activities which may cause diseases. We should provide them playing areas in the classrooms because, playing is as important as learning.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0

The candidate addresses all parts of the task by discussing the extent of formal learning in primary schools and the importance of play alongside learning. However, the development of ideas is somewhat limited and repetitive. For instance, the prompt asks 'To what extent do you agree', but the writer states 'it also have the disadvantages. In this essay we will discuss the both sides of the topic,' which outlines a balanced discussion rather than a clear personal position maintained throughout. While the main points regarding children's mental health and play areas are relevant, they remain underdeveloped, aligning well with the Band 5 descriptors where ideas are somewhat limited and the position is not always clearly sustained.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0

The text is divided into appropriate paragraphs, each with a discernible focus, such as introduction, body paragraphs addressing different aspects, and a conclusion. However, overall progression is hindered by repetitive phrasing and formulaic transitions like 'Firstly' and 'Secondly', which are sometimes misused. Referencing is also occasionally unclear, such as 'they assert' without a clearly established antecedent. Cohesive devices are mechanically applied, and the use of fragments like 'Which leads to a healthy learning atmosphere' disrupts the flow of the sentences. This reflects the characteristics of Band 5, where there is some organization and paragraphing, but overall logical progression is weak.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

The vocabulary used is generally basic and repetitive, with several spelling errors ('belive', 'in', 'puting', 'globle', 'childrens', 'physicsl') and word choice inaccuracies ('totaly opposite', 'take an eye on'). While the candidate attempts some less common vocabulary, such as 'fanatical' and 'legislation', inaccuracies in collocation and form are noticeable. Words are sometimes misused, such as 'physicsl activities' and 'issue who needs to be ironed out'. These errors cause occasional difficulty for the reader, fitting the Band 5 profile of a limited range of vocabulary with noticeable mechanical errors.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

The writer attempts a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but many of the complex forms contain grammatical errors. Examples include subject-verb agreement issues ('it also have', 'issue who needs') and incorrect verb forms ('is totaly opposite', 'legislation to the education system'). Punctuation is also faulty, notably with sentence fragments standing alone, such as 'Which leads to a healthy learning atmosphere.' Frequent grammatical errors cause some strain for the reader, placing the performance firmly at Band 5.

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