Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-30

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

There has been an ongoing debate that primary schools invest more attention towards formal learning leaving no time for childrens' developmental play. I believe that education is as important as play. Thus, I strongly agree with the mentioned statement that schools nowadays focus too much on learning.

On the one hand, it is an old saying: "No play makes Jack a dull boy", it has been researched that children who plays regularly remain healthy and mentally active. The integration of play with learning is of utmost importance for a child's cognitive development. For instance, students' engagement in different activities such as learning hygine through cleaning their desks could improve their understanding levels. Furthermore, those who participates in the extra-curricular activities including sports, painting, and debate competitions are more likely to be confident and diligent. Therefore, in my perspective, a significant amnoun of time should be included for play in the curriculums of schools.

On the other hand, neglecting studies is not a solution. I firmly believe that education is equally important as other activities. Again, it is an old believe: "a child starts learning from from her mother's lap". So, educating children by giving them different tasks to complete, or solving mathematical problems by engaing them on white board activities plays a positive role in the learning behaviour of children. To illustrate, students might get bored while sitting and learning continuously for straight 8 hours, and eventually, they would be less likely to concentrate on their courses. In contrast, phonics, numerics, and other objectives could be easliy understood by a child with the help of interactive games.

In conclusion, while formal education plays a pivotal role in learning, I believe integration of balance between play and learning is more essential.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

The response successfully addresses all parts of the two-part prompt by discussing whether primary schools focus too much on formal learning and evaluating the importance of play alongside learning. The writer establishes a clear position from the introduction and maintains it throughout the essay. Ideas are extended and supported with relevant examples, such as 'learning hygiene through cleaning their desks' and utilizing interactive games for subjects like phonics and numerics. Although some of the examples are slightly generalised, the arguments are fully developed and directly answer the questions asked. The response meets all task requirements, earning a solid band score.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The essay displays a clear logical organisation and progression throughout. Information and ideas are coherently structured into an introduction, two body paragraphs representing opposing views, and a brief conclusion. Cohesive devices such as 'On the one hand', 'On the other hand', 'Furthermore', and 'To illustrate' are used appropriately to guide the reader through the argument, though paragraphing and referencing could be slightly more polished. While paragraph transitions work well, minor mechanical uses of cohesive devices keep it from reaching a higher band. Overall, the structure is easy to follow and the progression is logical.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

The student demonstrates an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, attempting less common items such as 'cognitive development', 'extra-curricular activities', and 'pivotal role'. However, there are noticeable spelling and word choice errors throughout the text, including 'childrens'' instead of 'children's', 'hygine' instead of 'hygiene', 'participates' instead of 'participate', 'amnoun' instead of 'amount', 'believe' instead of 'belief', 'engaing' instead of 'engaging', and 'easliy' instead of 'easily'. These errors do not impede overall communication, but the frequency of spelling slips prevents the lexical score from reaching Band 7.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

The writer uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, demonstrating attempts at varied structures such as conditional and participial clauses ('children who plays regularly remain healthy', 'students' engagement in different activities... could improve'). However, there are several grammatical and agreement errors present, such as subject-verb agreement issues ('children who plays', 'those who participates') and minor prepositional or phrasing awkwardness ('straight 8 hours', 'integration of balance'). Punctuation is generally acceptable, and while these errors are noticeable, they rarely impede communication, allowing the writer to comfortably secure a Band 6.0.

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