Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-30

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.0)

This is very important topic to discuss. The education is very important at this age because the world become a technical world. As well as it has so many advantages like by education people learned well mannered, well behaved, and also more confident.

So actually, I think that in the modern age only reading books or formal learning is not enough because by reading books only our mind will stuck and the childrens feel bored. I prefer that it must be add practical skills in studies. Because of practicle learning childrens mind will opened. When we read things only in books I cannot understand it properly as compared to do it practical.

So I don't agree that in our contry only formal learning is the way to success. In our schools system their is too pressure on childrens to reading books or print it in their minds which is absoulutely wrong concept. If they much focus on childrens abilities or skills then they see the improvement in childrens. Firstly, In every school at leat in two grade they only learn basic thing to childrens like how to talk, how to sit, and how to show well behaved.

In primary school it is very important to play childrens as the education is important. Because by playing different gamen with other fellows it makes the children more confident as well as increase their mental capability. By facing many problems in games they thinks how to solve this problem. So by this it increase the capacity of thinking or problem sloving.

By closing the topic I personly advised to all the school systems that they must more focus on practical learning or learn basic things. So it is very important for our new generation. However it rank our country like im the modern countries.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0

The response addresses both parts of the prompt, discussing whether primary schools focus too much on formal learning and exploring the importance of play alongside learning. The writer attempts to express a clear position against excessive formal learning and in favour of practical skills and play. However, the development of ideas is limited and repetitive, with over-generalised statements such as 'only reading books or formal learning is not enough because by reading books only our mind will stuck'. While the ideas are relevant, they lack sufficient depth and specific examples to reach a higher band. Overall, the response meets the basic requirements of task response but stays at a modest level due to under-developed arguments and loose organisation.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0

The essay displays some overall organisation with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a concluding remark, but it lacks clear overall progression and logical sequencing. Paragraphing is irregular and confusing, with abrupt transitions between ideas, such as moving from classroom pressures directly into manners and then into playground games without clear signposting. Cohesive devices are frequently inadequate, inaccurate, or repetitive, relying heavily on basic linkers like 'So', 'Because', and 'Firstly'. Referencing is also weak at times, as seen in phrases like 'By closing the topic I personly advised'. While the general meaning can be followed, the structural flaws place it firmly in the lower-middle range for this criterion.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

The vocabulary used is limited and basic, with frequent lexical errors that occasionally impede understanding. The writer relies on simple words and repeats terms like 'important', 'learning', and 'childrens' excessively. There are numerous awkward word choices and collocations, such as 'print it in their minds', 'do it practical', and 'rank our country like im the modern countries'. Attempts to use less common vocabulary result in errors, such as 'practicle learning' and 'problem sloving'. While the vocabulary is minimally adequate to convey a basic argument, the constant strain caused by inaccurate word formation and limited range prevents the score from rising higher.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

The grammatical range is very limited, consisting mostly of simple and occasionally faulty complex sentences. There are frequent, persistent errors in grammar and punctuation throughout the text, including subject-verb agreement issues ('childrens is', 'world become'), incorrect pluralisation ('childrens'), missing articles ('the education is very important'), and tense inconsistencies ('they thinks'). Attempts at complex structures are frequently ungrammatical or awkwardly phrased, such as 'If they much focus on childrens abilities or skills then they see the improvement'. Although simple meaning is generally communicated, the high density of grammatical errors causes noticeable difficulty for the reader.

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