Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-30

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Education plays a paramount role in every individual life. There is a growing belief that primary schools pays much emphasis on formal academic learning. I firmly agree with this notion, as children need opportunities to develop through play as well as classroom instructions. However, academic learning should remain an crucial part of primary schools with balanced recreational activities.

To commence with, formal learning establishes the basic academic foundation leading to reading, writing, mathematics and communication skills as strong basic knowledge helps students in secondary schools. Furthermore, structured lessons can teach children discipline, concentration and time management this may provide the foundation to prepare them for future learning. For instance, regular study session can gradually improve students ability to solve maths problems in less time.

On the flip side, play is equally important for children overall development, unlike convectional learning social skills helps children to learn teamwork, sharing and moral values owing to alleviate academic stress and makes school more enjoyable. Epitome, team sports teach cooperation and responsibilty while keeping them physically active. Moreover, excessive homework causing more stress to students resulting to loss of interest in studying as well as may limit creativity and independent thinking.

In the conclusion, although formal learning are necessary for builing a strong educational foundation, extra curriculam activities is also beneficial for developing childrens social skills and physical well being. Therefore, balanced approach should be there to enhance their enthusiam for learning.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

The response addresses all parts of the two-part prompt, acknowledging that primary schools focus heavily on formal learning while discussing the importance of play. The writer takes a clear position and supports ideas with explanations, such as mentioning how formal learning builds foundational academic skills and how play develops social skills and reduces stress. However, the response falls short of the 250-word minimum requirement, containing only 237 words. This under-length limitation restricts the full development of ideas, preventing the response from reaching a higher band score. For example, the final paragraph feels slightly rushed and underdeveloped. Consequently, Task Achievement is penalised for length.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The essay presents a clear overall progression and follows a standard four-paragraph structure with an introduction, two body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Transitional phrases such as 'To commence with', 'On the flip side', and 'In the conclusion' are utilized to guide the reader through the text, although some cohesive devices are mechanical or awkwardly phrased, such as 'Epitome'. Paragraphing is used appropriately, and referencing is generally clear throughout the essay, despite some minor awkwardness in logical transitions between sentences, such as the run-on structure in '...time management this may provide...'. Overall, the organization is coherent enough to satisfy the criteria for Band 6.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

The student demonstrates an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, attempting some less common lexical items such as 'paramount role', 'foundational academic foundation', and 'recreational activities'. However, there are noticeable word choice and collocation inaccuracies throughout the text. For instance, the writer uses 'pays much emphasis' instead of 'places much emphasis', 'convectional learning' instead of 'conventional learning', and 'owing to alleviate' which is grammatically incorrect. Furthermore, word formation errors appear, such as 'responsibilty' and 'extra curriculam'. These errors do not seriously impede communication, but they restrict the lexical score to Band 6.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

The writer attempts a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, demonstrating some control over grammar with constructions like 'There is a growing belief that primary schools pays much emphasis...' and '...although formal learning are necessary...'. However, the text contains several grammatical and punctuation errors that affect accuracy. Subject-verb agreement errors are present, such as 'schools pays' and 'formal learning are'. Additionally, run-on sentences occur, such as linking clauses without proper punctuation in '...time management this may provide the foundation...'. While these errors rarely completely obscure meaning, their frequency prevents the essay from achieving a higher band score.

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