Band 7.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 7.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-30

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 7.0)

It is often argued that primary schools focus too much on formal learning and neglect the importance of play. While some people contend that formal learning should be the main priority from an early age, I am firmly convinced that play is equally important for children in primary schools due to its role in cognitive development and its positive impact on social and emotional well-being.

The principal reason why play should be integrated with formal learning is valid is that play-based activities significantly enhance children's cognitive and creative abilities. To elaborate, when children learn through games, storytelling, and hands-on activities, they develop problem-solving skills and imagination more effectively than through rote memorization. A compelling example of this is in Finnish primary schools, where children learn mathematics through building blocks and outdoor games, resulting in higher engagement and better retention. Consequently, this balanced approach makes learning enjoyable and meaningful, which clearly demonstrates that play improves academic outcomes rather than hindering them.

Another significant reason is that play is essential for social and emotional development. This is largely because classroom games and group activities teach children how to cooperate, share, negotiate, and manage conflicts. For instance, in my own primary school experience, team sports and role-play activities helped shy students become more confident and communicative. Admittedly, some parents believe that too much play wastes time and reduces academic performance, however, research shows that children who have regular playtime exhibit better concentration and behaviour in formal lessons. Therefore, play creates a healthy and productive learning environment.

In conclusion, although formal learning is crucial for building basic literacy and numeracy, I remain convinced that play is equally important in primary school classrooms. This is because it boosts cognitive development and it fosters social and emotional growth. Hence, primary schools should adopt a balanced curriculum that combines formal instruction with purposeful play.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 7.5

The response fully addresses all parts of the two-part prompt by discussing the extent of agreement regarding formal learning in primary schools and the importance of play alongside learning. Your position is clear from the introduction and is consistently maintained throughout the essay. The ideas are well extended and supported with relevant examples, such as referencing Finnish primary schools and drawing upon personal experience with team sports. The arguments regarding cognitive development and social-emotional well-being are logically structured and effectively defended. Overall, this demonstrates a strong level of task achievement that meets the requirements for Band 8.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 7.5

Ideas are logically sequenced and paragraphing is used both sufficiently and appropriately. Each body paragraph focuses on a distinct, clearly stated main idea relating to either cognitive or social-emotional development. Cohesive devices are handled effectively without feeling mechanical, utilizing phrases such as 'To elaborate,' 'A compelling example of this,' and 'In conclusion.' Referencing is clear throughout the text, guiding the reader smoothly from the introduction through the well-supported body paragraphs to the final summary. The progression of thought is clear and easy to follow, earning a solid Band 8.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.5

You demonstrate a sufficient and flexible range of vocabulary suitable for an academic response, incorporating less common lexical items such as 'cognitive development,' 'rote memorization,' 'retention,' and 'purposeful play.' Word choice is generally precise, and collocation is natural, as seen in expressions like 'foster social and emotional growth' and 'balanced curriculum.' While there are occasional minor slips in phrasing, such as in the opening of the second paragraph ('The principal reason why play should be integrated with formal learning is valid is that...'), the overall lexical range allows for precise conveyance of meaning and merits a Band 7.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 6.5

The essay displays a wide variety of complex sentence structures, including conditional or concessive clauses ('While some people contend that...', 'Admittedly, some parents believe that...'). The majority of your sentences are error-free, and you maintain good overall control of grammar and punctuation. Although a minor clunky phrasing occurs in the second paragraph, your grammatical accuracy remains high throughout. Punctuation is used correctly to demarcate clauses and items in lists. The combination of a wide structural range and high accuracy easily satisfies the criteria for Band 7.

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