Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-30

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.0)

This is a very important topic to discuss. Education is very important at this age because the world is becoming a technical world. As well as it has so many advantages like by education people learned well mannered, well behaved, and also more confident.

So actually, I think that in the modern age only reading books or formal learning is not enough because by reading books only our mind will stuck and the childrens feel bored. I prefer that it must be add practical skills in studies. Because of practicle learning childrens mind will opened. When we read things only in books I cannot understand it properly as compared to do it practical.

So I don't agree that in our contry only formal learning is the way to success. In our schools system their is too pressure on childrens to reading books or print it in their minds which is absoulutely wrong concept. If they much focus on childrens abilities or skills then they see the improvement in childrens. Firstly, In every school at leat in two grade they only learn basic thing to childrens like how to talk, how to sit, and how to show well behaved.

In primary school it is very important to play childrens as the education is important. Because by playing different gamen with other fellows it makes the children more confident as well as increase their mental capability. By facing many problems in games they thinks how to solve this problem. So by this it increase the capacity of thinking or problem sloving.

By closing the topic I personly advised to all the school systems that they must more focus on practical learning or learn basic things. So it is very important for our new generation. However it rank our country like im the modern countries.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0

The response addresses both parts of the prompt: whether formal learning is too dominant and the importance of play alongside learning in primary schools. The student takes a clear position, stating disagreement with exclusive formal learning and asserting the vital role of play and practical skills. However, the development of ideas is limited and repetitive, with over-generalised arguments such as 'our mind will stuck and the childrens feel bored.' Examples provided are basic and personal rather than well-extended, reflecting Band 5 characteristics where ideas are present but under-developed and lack depth.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0

The essay is divided into paragraphs, but the overall logical progression is weak and lacks a cohesive framework. Transition markers are very basic or awkward, such as 'So actually,' 'By closing the topic,' and 'However it rank our country.' Paragraphing is erratic, with sudden shifts in ideas without smooth transitions between sentences or paragraphs. Referencing is frequently unclear, notably in sentences like 'If they much focus on childrens abilities or skills then they see the improvement in childrens.' These features place the response firmly at Band 5 due to inadequate and repetitive cohesive devices.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

The vocabulary used is basic, repetitive, and limited, relying heavily on everyday words like 'important,' 'things,' 'childrens,' and 'learn.' There are noticeable word-choice and spelling errors that strain the reader's comprehension, such as 'practicle,' 'contry,' 'absoulutely,' 'leat,' 'gamen,' 'sloving,' and 'personly.' Less common lexical items are attempted but applied incorrectly, such as 'it rank our country.' Because the range is limited and noticeable errors occur throughout, the response aligns with Band 4.5, rounded to Band 5.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.0

The essay displays a very limited range of grammatical structures, relying mostly on simple sentences with frequent attempts at complex structures that are faulty. There are persistent, major grammatical errors throughout the text, including subject-verb agreement issues ('the childrens feel'), tense errors ('people learned well mannered'), and incorrect prepositions or word forms ('it must be add practical skills'). Punctuation is also problematic. These frequent errors cause significant difficulty for the reader, matching the Band 4 descriptors.

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