Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-30

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.0)

This is a very important topic to discuss. Education is very important at this age because the world is becoming a technical world. Also it has so many advantages such as education helps people to learned well - mannered, well -behaved, and also more confident.

So actually, I think that in the modern age only reading books or formal learning is not enough because by reading books only our mind will stuck and the childrens feel bored. I prefer that it must be add practical skills in studies. Because of practicle learning childrens mind will opened. When we read things only in books I cannot understand it properly as compared to do it practical.

So I don't agree that in our contry only formal learning is the way to success. In our schools system their is too pressure on childrens to reading books or print it in their minds which is absoulutely wrong concept. If they much focus on childrens abilities or skills then they see the improvement in childrens. Firstly, In every school at leat in two grade they only learn basic thing to childrens like how to talk, how to sit, and how to show well behaved.

In primary school it is very important to play childrens as the education is important. Because by playing different gamen with other fellows it makes the children more confident as well as increase their mental capability. By facing many problems in games they thinks how to solve this problem. So by this it increase the capacity of thinking or problem sloving.

By closing the topic I personly advised to all the school systems that they must more focus on practical learning or learn basic things. So it is very important for our new generation. However it rank our country like im the modern countries.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0

The student addresses both parts of the prompt, discussing whether primary schools focus too much on formal learning and explaining the importance of play in the classroom. However, the ideas are relatively undeveloped and repetitive, reflecting a Band 5 performance. The writer presents a clear personal position stating that formal learning alone is insufficient and that practical skills and play are necessary, yet the supporting points are brief and lack depth. Examples are generalised rather than specific, and the reasoning sometimes loops back to the same basic points about making children confident or avoiding boredom. Despite these limitations in development, the task is addressed adequately enough to satisfy the requirements for this level.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0

The text demonstrates some organisation with attempts at paragraphing, but there is no clear overall progression of ideas. Paragraphs are unevenly structured, and sentences often feel disconnected. Cohesive devices are used minimally or inaccurately, such as the abrupt transitional phrases like 'By closing the topic' and 'So actually'. Referencing is occasionally unclear, as seen in pronouns whose antecedents are ambiguous. The logical flow is hindered by abrupt shifts between thoughts, particularly in the middle paragraphs where ideas about school systems, behaviour, and play are mingled without smooth linking. These issues place the response firmly at Band 5.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

The vocabulary is limited and repetitive, repeatedly relying on basic terms such as 'education', 'learning', 'children', and 'important'. There are frequent word choice and collocation errors, such as 'our contry only formal learning is the way to success', 'print it in their minds', and 'it rank our country like im the modern countries'. Spelling errors are also present, including 'absoulutely', 'atleat', 'gamen' (games), 'sloving', and 'personly'. While the writer attempts some less common vocabulary items like 'capability' and 'practical skills', the high frequency of basic lexical errors and limited range mean the response aligns with Band 4.5, rounded to Band 5.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.0

The student uses a mix of simple and some attempted complex structures, but control is poor. There are frequent grammatical errors throughout the text, including subject-verb agreement issues ('the childrens feel', 'childres mind will opened'), incorrect verb forms ('helps people to learned', 'to play childrens'), and awkward phrasing ('there is too pressure on childrens'). Punctuation is also problematic, with missing commas and incorrect capitalization in places. While some simpler sentences are comprehensible, the high density of errors frequently strains the reader and impedes understanding, which matches the Band 4 descriptor.

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