Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-30

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 4.5)

This is a very important topic to discuss. Education is very important at this age because the world is becoming a technological world. Also it has so many advantages such as education helps people to learn well-mannered, well-behaved, and also more confident.

So actually, I think that in the modern age only reading

books or formal learning is not enough because by only reading books our mind will stuck and the childrens feel bored. I prefer that it must be add practical skills in studies. Because of practicle learning childrens mind will opened. When we read things only in books I cannot understand it properly as compared to do it practical.

So I don't agree that in our contry only formal learning is the way to success. In our schools system their is too pressure on childrens to reading books or print it in their minds which is absoulutely wrong concept. If they much focus on childrens abilities or skills then they see the improvement in childrens. Firstly, In every school at leat in two grade they only learn basic thing to childrens like how to talk, how to sit, and how to show well behaved.

In primary school it is very important to play childrens as the education is important. Because by playing different gamen with other fellows it makes the children more confident as well as increase their mental capability. By facing many problems in games they thinks how to solve this problem. So by this it increase the capacity of thinking or problem sloving.

By closing the topic I personly advised to all the school systems that they must more focus on practical learning or learn basic things. So it is very important for our new generation. However it rank our country like im the modern countries.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0

The student attempts to address both parts of the prompt, discussing formal learning versus practical skills and the importance of play in primary school. However, the position is not always clearly stated and ideas tend to be repetitive and under-developed. For instance, the discussion on play mentions that it increases mental capability and problem-solving, but these points are supported with very simplistic explanations like 'by facing many problems in games they thinks how to solve this problem.' While the student meets the basic requirements of addressing the prompt, the ideas lack the depth and extension expected at higher bands. Therefore, this performance aligns best with Band 5.0.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.0

The response features some organisational structure, including an introduction, body paragraphs, and a concluding remark, but it lacks clear overall progression. Paragraphing is erratic and unsuited to logical divisions of thought; for example, single-sentence paragraphs appear frequently, such as 'So actually, I think that in the modern age only reading books...' Cohesive devices are frequently misused, repetitive, or inadequate ('So actually', 'Because of practicle learning', 'By closing the topic'). Referencing is also weak at times, making the flow disjointed. This level of cohesion and paragraph management reflects a Band 4.0 descriptor.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.0

The vocabulary used is basic and repetitive, frequently relying on simple words like 'important', 'childrens', 'learning', and 'things'. There are numerous word-choice and collocation errors, such as 'our mind will stuck', 'print it in their minds', 'practicle learning', and 'it rank our country like im the modern countries'. These lexical limitations and errors occasionally strain the reader's understanding. While the student attempts some less common phrases like 'problem solving', the overall range is limited and minimally adequate, fitting the Band 4.0 criteria.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.0

The text demonstrates a very limited range of grammatical structures, relying heavily on simple sentences. Attempts at complex sentences are frequently faulty, leading to numerous grammar and punctuation errors throughout the text (e.g., 'there is too pressure on childrens to reading books', 'at leat in two grade they only learn basic thing to childrens', 'play childrens as the education is important'). Subject-verb agreement errors ('the childrens feel', 'childrens mind will opened'), pluralisation errors ('childrens'), and tense inconsistencies are persistent and frequently distort meaning. This falls into the Band 4.0 category.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

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