Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-30

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.0)

This is a very important topic to discuss. Education is very important at this age because the world is becoming a technological world. Also it has so many advantages like by education people learned well-mannered, well-behaved, and also more confident.

So actually, I think that in the modern age only reading books or formal learning is not enough because by only reading books our mind will stuck and the childrens feel bored. I prefer that it must be add practical skills in studies. Because of practicle learning childrens mind will opened. When we read things only in books I cannot understand it properly as compared to do it practical.

So I don't agree that in our contry only formal learning is the way to success. In our schools system their is too pressure on childrens to reading books or print it in their minds which is absoulutely wrong concept. If they much focus on childrens abilities or skills then they see the improvement in childrens. Firstly, In every school at leat in two grade they only learn basic thing to childrens like how to talk, how to sit, and how to show well behaved.

In primary school it is very important to play childrens as the education is important. Because by playing different gamen with other fellows it makes the children more confident as well as increase their mental capability. By facing many problems in games they thinks how to solve this problem. So by this it increase the capacity of thinking or problem sloving.

By concluding the topic I personlly advised to all the school systems that they must more focus on practical learning or learn basic things. So it is very important for our new generation. However it rank our country like im the modern countries.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0

The response addresses both parts of the prompt: whether primary schools focus too much on formal learning, and the importance of play alongside learning. The writer takes a clear position against excessive formal learning and in favour of practical skills and play. However, the development of ideas is somewhat limited and repetitive. For instance, the discussion on play correctly notes benefits like problem-solving and confidence, but the supporting examples are brief and rely on general statements rather than fully extended arguments. It meets the criteria for Band 5, as the ideas are relevant and address the task, but they lack the deeper extension and rigorous support required for higher bands.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0

The text is organised into paragraphs, though the paragraph breaks are somewhat erratic and indentation is inconsistent. There is a basic attempt to sequence ideas logically, moving from general education views to formal learning criticisms, and finally to the benefits of play. However, overall progression is hindered by simplistic and repetitive cohesive devices, such as starting multiple sentences with 'So' or 'Because'. Reference pronouns are sometimes unclear, as seen in phrases like 'When we read things only in books I cannot understand it properly', where the shift from plural 'we' to singular 'I' disrupts the flow. Cohesion is mechanical rather than smooth, placing this response firmly at Band 5.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

The vocabulary used is basic, repetitive, and at times unnatural, which places the response in the Band 5 category. The student relies heavily on simple terms like 'important', 'things', and 'childrens'. There are also numerous word-choice and collocation errors, such as 'our mind will stuck', 'childrens mind will opened', 'do it practical', and 'too pressure'. Attempts to use less common vocabulary, such as 'technological world', often result in awkward phrasing. While the vocabulary is minimally adequate to convey the basic message, persistent inaccuracies and limited range prevent the response from reaching a Band 6.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.0

The grammatical range is limited, featuring a heavy reliance on simple sentences alongside poorly controlled complex structures. Frequent errors are present throughout the text, including non-standard pluralisation ('childrens'), missing verbs ('it must be add practical skills'), tense inconsistencies ('people learned'), and awkward prepositions ('in our contry only formal learning is the way to success'). Punctuation and article usage are also faulty in several places. These errors frequently cause strain and difficulty for the reader, which aligns with the descriptor for Band 4, though the presence of some correct simple structures prevents a lower score.

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