Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-30

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.0)

This is a very important topic to discuss. Education is very important at this age because the world is becoming a technological world. Also it has so many advantages like by education people learned well-mannered, well-behaved, and also more confident.

Actually, I think that in the modern age only reading books or formal learning is not enough because by reading only books our mind will get stuck and childrens feel bored. I think that practical skills must be add practical skills in studies. Because of practical learning childrens mind will opened. When we read things only in books I cannot understand it properly as compared to do it practical.

So I don't agree that in our contry only formal learning is the way to success. In our schools system their is too pressure on childrens to reading books or print it in their minds which is absoulutely wrong concept. If they much focus on childrens abilities or skills then they see the improvement in childrens. Firstly, In every school at leat in two grade they only learn basic thing to childrens like how to talk, how to sit, and how to show well behaved.

In primary school it is very important to play childrens as the education is important. Because by playing different gamen with other fellows it makes the children more confident as well as increase their mental capability. By facing many problems in games they thinks how to solve this problem. So by this it increase the capacity of thinking or problem sloving.

By concluding the topic I personlly advised to all the school systems that they must more focus on practical learning or learn basic things. So it is very important for our new generation. However it rank our country like im the modern countries.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0

The response addresses both parts of the prompt, discussing the extent of agreement regarding formal learning and explaining the importance of play in primary school. The student takes a clear position, stating 'So I don't agree that in our contry only formal learning is the way to success,' and supports this view with arguments about practical skills, mental development, and social confidence. However, some ideas are repetitive and under-developed, relying on generalised statements like 'childrens mind will opened' rather than detailed elaboration. Examples provided, such as learning how to sit and talk, are somewhat basic. Overall, the task is addressed adequately, fitting the criteria for Band 5.5 to 6.0, ultimately leaning toward Band 5.0 due to limited and slightly repetitive idea extension.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0

The essay is divided into paragraphs, showing an attempt at a logical structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a concluding remark. However, the overall progression is sometimes disjointed. Cohesive devices are frequently inadequate, inaccurate, or repetitive, such as the frequent use of 'Also', 'Actually', and 'So'. Paragraphing is visibly attempted, but the grouping of ideas lacks smooth transitions. For instance, the transition from school pressures into talking about basic grades ('Firstly, In every school at leat in two grade...') is abrupt and confuses the logical flow. Referencing is occasionally unclear, making it difficult to follow the relationships between sentences. These features place the response firmly at Band 5.0.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

The vocabulary used is generally basic and repetitive, with frequent reliance on simple words like 'important', 'learning', 'things', and 'childrens'. There are noticeable spelling and word-form errors that detract from the writing, such as 'contry' for country, 'absoulutely', 'gamen' for games, 'sloving' for solving, and the incorrect pluralisation 'childrens'. Attempts to use less common vocabulary or collocation are limited and often inaccurate, such as 'print it in their minds' or 'too pressure'. While the intended meaning can usually be understood, the lexical limitations and errors cause some difficulty for the reader, aligning with Band 5.0 descriptors.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

The student attempts a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, but control is weak. There are frequent grammatical errors throughout the text, such as subject-verb agreement issues ('childrens feel bored'), incorrect prepositions ('in our contry', 'focus on childrens'), and faulty sentence structures ('I think that practical skills must be add practical skills in studies'). Punctuation is also problematic in places. These frequent errors can cause difficulty for the reader, and complex structures are frequently faulty. This level of control matches the Band 5.0 descriptors for Grammatical Range and Accuracy.

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