Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-30

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Primary education provided in school classrooms follow a set of rules and regulations when it is about their teaching methods. Although most schools have a designated hour for allowing children to play, most of their focus is spent on teaching formal learning. Although formal learning is crucial, I believe children should be allowed to play more often. The following essay discusses as to why it is necessary for children to not just focus on one singular aspect of education.

A schedule which focuses mainly on formal learning, makes children lose their drive to learn; since they are children not adults, they are not able to differentiate why they are made to learn so many things through a short time span at school, instead they will not pay attention or create rucus. Schools have their set goals when it comes to teaching methods, but many institutions do not pay attention to how much a child actually understands or grasps during those teaching hours.

Every child is different and may not learn only via teachers, some children develop skills while playing. For instance, playing team sports like cricket or football allows children to develop skills of leadership, team spirit and coordination. On the other hand, playing some other games helps them develop better cognition while also improving their mental health. Children while playing, also improve their physical health because they will have to run, jump or move rapidly for the same.

In conclusion, I believe schools should pay more attention towards allowing children to play more often rather than just classroom learning sessions for several hours continuously. It will be of great benefit if children are taught in a playful and balanced study schedule.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

The response addresses both parts of the prompt: it presents a clear position agreeing that primary schools focus too much on formal learning, and it discusses the importance of play alongside learning. The ideas are generally relevant, mentioning the loss of drive in children and how play fosters physical health and cognitive skills. However, the development of ideas tends to be slightly superficial and over-generalized, particularly in the second paragraph where the writing discusses children creating a 'rucus' or losing focus. While the position is clear and all parts of the task are addressed, the depth of extension places this firmly in the Band 6.0 territory.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The essay displays a coherent overall arrangement with a logical progression from introduction to body paragraphs and conclusion. Each paragraph has a clear central topic: the first introduces the thesis, the second discusses the drawbacks of rigid formal learning, the third outlines the benefits of play, and the final paragraph summarizes the main points. Cohesive devices are used adequately, such as 'For instance', 'On the other hand', and 'In conclusion'. However, paragraphing is somewhat basic, and referencing or transitional flow between sentences occasionally feels a bit mechanical, such as 'Children while playing, also improve their physical health because they will have to run...'. This aligns well with the descriptors for Band 6.0.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

The student demonstrates an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, attempting some less common items such as 'designated hour', 'differentiate', 'cognition', and 'coordination'. However, there are notable word-choice inaccuracies and spelling/collocation slips throughout the text, such as 'Primary education provided in school classrooms follow' (agreement error) and 'create rucus' (incorrect spelling of 'ruckus' and awkward collocation). Furthermore, expressions like 'through a short time span' and 'one singular aspect' are slightly unnatural. Because the vocabulary is sufficient to communicate the main ideas despite these noticeable errors, a Band 6.0 is appropriate.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

The writer uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, incorporating subordinating clauses with 'Although', 'since', and 'while'. However, control over complex structures is inconsistent. There is a subject-verb agreement error in the opening sentence ('Primary education... follow' instead of 'follows'), a comma splice in the second paragraph ('...make children lose their drive to learn; since they are children not adults...'), and run-on structures like 'Children while playing, also improve their physical health because they will have to run, jump or move rapidly for the same.' While these errors are frequent, they rarely impede overall communication, fitting the Band 6.0 profile.

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