Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-30

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.0)

This is a very important topic to discuss. Education is very important at this age because the world is becoming a technological world. Also it has so many advantages like through education people learn well-mannered, well-behaved, and also more confident.

Actually, I think that in the modern age only reading books or formal learning is not enough because by reading only books our mind will get stuck and children feel bored. I think that practical skills must be added practical skills in studies. Because of practical learning childrens mind will open. When we read things only in books I cannot understand it properly as compared to do it practical.

So I don't agree that in our contry only formal learning is the way to success. In our schools system their is too pressure on childrens to reading books or print it in their minds which is absoulutely wrong concept. If they much focus on childrens abilities or skills then they see the improvement in childrens. Firstly, In every school at leat in two grade they only learn basic thing to childrens like how to talk, how to sit, and how to show well behaved.

In primary school it is very important to play childrens as the education is important. Because by playing different gamen with other fellows it makes the children more confident as well as increase their mental capability. By facing many problems in games they thinks how to solve this problem. So by this it increase the capacity of thinking or problem sloving.

By concluding the topic I personlly advised to all the school systems that they must more focus on practical learning or learn basic things. So it is very important for our new generation. However it rank our country like im the modern countries.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0

The student attempts to address both parts of the prompt: whether primary schools focus too much on formal learning and the importance of play alongside learning. A position is stated, expressing disagreement with exclusive formal learning and highlighting the benefits of practical skills and play. However, the ideas are often underdeveloped and repetitive, with limited supporting examples. For instance, the discussion on play mentions that 'by playing different gamen with other fellows it makes the children more confident', but this point lacks depth. The response touches upon the required elements, earning a Band 5.0.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0

The essay displays some organization, opening with an introduction and attempting to segment ideas into paragraphs. However, the overall progression is disrupted by abrupt transitions and a lack of cohesive devices. For example, sentences like 'Actually, I think that in the modern age only reading books or formal learning is not enough' and 'So I don't agree that in our contry only formal learning is the way to success' show weak logical linking. Paragraphing is somewhat haphazard, with very short and disconnected blocks of text, leading to a mechanical feel. Cohesion is inadequate, aligning best with a Band 5.0.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

The vocabulary is limited and repetitive, relying heavily on basic terms such as 'important', 'learning', 'books', and 'children'. There are notable word choice and collocation errors, such as 'too pressure on childrens to reading books or print it in their minds' and 'do it practical'. Spelling mistakes like 'contry', 'absoulutely', 'leat', and 'gamen' occur throughout the text. While the vocabulary is minimally adequate to convey basic concepts, the frequency of errors and restricted range place this at a Band 5.0.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

The text relies predominantly on simple sentence structures, and attempts at complex or compound forms frequently result in ungrammatical constructions. Examples of grammatical errors include 'childrens mind will open', 'I cannot understand it properly as compared to do it practical', 'their is too pressure', and 'they thinks how to solve this problem'. Punctuation and article usage are also flawed. Due to the frequent errors and the lack of a reliable range of complex structures, this performance meets the criteria for Band 4.5, rounded to 5.0 for overall comprehensibility.

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