Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-01
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.
To what extent do you agree with this opinion?
How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 4.5)
Student to get higher number every school and perntes want thire student or child get top on school that`s why schools focus too much on formal learning ,but my belive is children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom so i will dissuce both view and give my opinion in upcoming pragarph .
To start with , many school reputaion depend on thier student result so that` why they give more perrserr on student and also on study they give more homewrok , exter lesson or test and other, school are give more attension on study comper to other activity for example tecaher cancel their palying period also cancel picknick trip and that kind of presser student or child can`t handel it and that effect on their menatl health , schools can not do this tyep thing , we accept study is very imporatnt but this kind of thing child can not handel and do some wrong steps .
To beging with , study is imporatnet for student but focus on only study is not good thing so school fo
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 4.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 4.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 4.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 4.5 |
| Overall | 4.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.0
The response responds to the task only minimally and fails to reach the required word count of 250 words, finishing at just 184 words. While the student attempts to address the two-part prompt regarding formal learning and play in primary schools, the ideas are heavily restricted in scope and remain under-developed. For instance, the mention of teachers cancelling playing periods and picnic trips is a relevant example, but it lacks sufficient extension and is obscured by expression issues. The overall position is discernible in the introduction, but the truncated nature of the response and the abrupt ending in the second body paragraph prevent full coverage of the task.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.0
Information and ideas are not arranged coherently across the text as a whole. Although the student attempts basic transitional markers such as "To start with" and "To beging with", the overall logical progression breaks down due to sentence fragments and the sudden, incomplete termination of the essay. Paragraphing is attempted, but the final paragraph consists of only a partial sentence ("To beging with , study is imporatnet for student but focus on only study is not good thing so school fo"), which severely disrupts the flow and structural integrity of the response. Referencing is also unclear in places, making it difficult for the reader to follow the argument.
Lexical Resource: Band 4.5
The vocabulary used is basic and repetitive, employing words such as "school", "study", "child", and "student" with high frequency. There are frequent spelling errors that strain the reader, including "perntes" for parents, "thire" / "thier" for their, "belive" for belief, "pragarph" for paragraph, "reputaion" for reputation, "perrserr" / "presser" for pressure, "attension" for attention, "comper" for compared, "tecaher" for teacher, "palying" for playing, "menatl" for mental, "tyep" for type, "imporatnt" for important, and "beging" for beginning. These lexical inadequacies and spelling mistakes impede communication and highlight a limited, restricted resource for this task.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5
The grammar demonstrates a very limited range of structures, relying on simple sentences strung together with coordinating conjunctions or comma splices, such as in the opening sentence. Errors are frequent and often distort meaning, involving incorrect verb forms, missing articles, and faulty subject-verb agreement (e.g., "school are give more attension", "child can not handel it", and "many school reputaion depend"). Punctuation is also poorly controlled, with spaces frequently placed incorrectly before commas and periods. Complex sentences are rarely attempted successfully, and the high frequency of grammatical inaccuracies causes persistent difficulty for the reader.
See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.
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