Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-01

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.0)

Although is it evident that the several public argue that the primary schools focus on too much formal learning.

I'd say that the schools contain the education resources according to their criteria. However, it is evident that primary schools having numerous childrens with different mind sets. Therefore, the childrens just focus on formal learning as well. In my opinion, it is not beneficial for any primary student because that time was the learning era for him. The primary schools just focus on learning their childrens and achieve marks in their prime time.

In my perspective , am not satisfied yet in this criteria because that time was prime time for childrens to built new skills in other curricular activities .

In consequent that the school focus on learning students new skills in communication, sports or any other activities. To ilustrate, it is more significant for every student who built career in future. If they don't have communication skills in future ,then they just got degree not achieve beneficial and suitable career according to their category.

Furthermore, numerous individual focus on learning skills instead of going to collegeus or univerisities. To ilustrate it, in my opinion i focus on learn skills, as well as play cricket or any other mind practice activity. Moreover, it is narrated that the school system who focus on mind growth activities for childrens. Through this system implements in every school. In future every primary school system focus on learning as well as doing different mind activities.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0

The response addresses the prompt only partially. While the writer attempts to answer both parts of the task—discussing whether primary schools focus too much on formal learning and the importance of play—the position is not always clear, and the ideas presented are limited and frequently under-developed. For instance, the discussion regarding communication skills and career outcomes lacks clear logical extension and suffers from disjointed reasoning. To move closer to a higher standard, the writer needs to present a well-developed position throughout the essay, ensuring that every main idea is supported by clear explanations and relevant examples rather than repetitive statements.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5

There is some organisation present in the response, but it lacks a clear overall progression. The essay is divided into paragraphs, yet the logical links between sentences are often faulty or mechanical. Cohesive devices are used inadequately and sometimes inappropriately, such as the frequent, repetitive use of 'To ilustrate' and 'Furthermore', which does not effectively guide the reader through the argument. Referencing is also unclear in places, making it difficult to follow the development of ideas. To achieve a higher level, the writer must ensure a logical flow from one paragraph to the next and use a wider variety of cohesive ties accurately and naturally.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

The vocabulary used is limited and minimally adequate for the task. The writer attempts to use some less common words, but noticeable errors in word choice, collocation, and word formation occur throughout the text, such as 'public argue', 'childrens', 'mind sets', and 'mind practice activity'. Spelling mistakes like 'ilustrate' also appear. These lexical inadequacies cause some difficulty for the reader and impede smooth communication. To improve this criterion, the student needs to expand their range of vocabulary, ensure accurate word forms, and use terms in appropriate collocations that fit an academic context.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

The response displays a very limited range of grammatical structures. The writer attempts a few complex sentences, but these attempts are frequently faulty, leading to frequent errors that cause difficulty for the reader. There are persistent issues with sentence structure, verb forms, articles, and prepositions within grammatical patterns, as seen in phrases like 'Although is it evident that', 'that time was the learning era for him', and 'am not satisfied yet in this criteria'. To progress to a higher level, the writer must demonstrate greater control over basic and complex sentence forms, reduce the frequency of structural errors, and improve overall punctuation and agreement.

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