Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-01

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Student to get higher number every school and pertness want their student or child get top on school that`s why schools focus too much on formal learning ,but my believe is children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom so i will disuse both view and give my opinion in upcoming paragraph .

To start with , many school reputation depend on their student result so that` why they give more presser on student and also on study they give more homework , extra lesson or test and other, school are give more attention on study compeer to other activity for example teacher cancel their playing period also cancel picknick trip and that kind of presser student or child can`t handle it and that effect on their mental health , schools can not do this type thing , we accept study is very important but this kind of thing child can not handle and do some wrong steps .

To continue with ,study is very important for student but focus on only study is not good thing school do some work on children play and interest , for example schools do some other activity some interesting program and other , they also do less presser on student or child only study is not as much important they give some focus on sports they do arrange some activity on class room , also give some freedom to student from choosing career , in addition they always ask student to what they want .

In conclusion, although formal learning is an essential part of primary education, I believe that children should also have sufficient opportunities to play. A balanced combination of academic study and play can help young learners develop both their knowledge and important social and creative skills.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

The response addresses all parts of the task by discussing whether primary schools focus too much on formal learning and explaining the importance of play alongside study. However, some ideas are more fully developed than others. The introduction outlines the writer's stance, and body paragraphs present relevant arguments regarding student pressure, mental health, and the need for a balanced curriculum. Nevertheless, certain points remain somewhat generalised and under-developed, such as the mention that children might take 'wrong steps' due to stress. To reach a higher level, the writer would need to extend and fully substantiate each argument with more precise explanations or concrete examples rather than relying on broad statements.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The essay displays a coherent overall arrangement with a clear attempt to structure the response into an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Paragraphing is utilised to separate distinct ideas, such as the negative impacts of excessive formal study in the first body paragraph and the benefits of integrating play and activities in the second. However, cohesion is sometimes mechanical and faulty. Phrases like 'To start with' and 'To continue with' are used, but referencing is not always clear, and the flow between sentences is occasionally disrupted by run-on structures. To improve, the writer should employ a wider and more natural variety of cohesive devices and ensure smoother logical transitions between sentences and paragraphs.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

The student uses an adequate range of vocabulary suitable for addressing the prompt, attempting some less common words and phrases such as 'formal learning', 'mental health', and 'creative skills'. However, there is a noticeable presence of word-choice errors, incorrect word forms, and spelling mistakes—such as 'pertness' instead of 'parents', 'presser' instead of 'pressure', and 'compeer' instead of 'compared'—that require the reader to decode the intended meaning. While communication is generally maintained, these limitations prevent the vocabulary from achieving a higher rating. To advance, the writer needs to expand their control of word choices, collocations, and spelling accuracy.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

The writing demonstrates a limited range of sentence structures, relying heavily on simple sentences and overly long, unpunctuated compound structures linked by conjunctions or commas. There are frequent errors in grammar and punctuation, including issues with subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'many school reputation depend'), missing articles, incorrect verb forms ('schools are give more attention'), and run-on sentences. While a mix of simple and complex forms is attempted, errors persist throughout the text and occasionally cause difficulty for the reader. To achieve a higher band, the writer must improve their control over basic grammatical structures, punctuation boundaries, and verb tense consistency.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

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