Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-01

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.5)

In many primary schools today, subjects such as writing, reading, mathematics take up most of the school day, leaving limited time for other activities. From my perspective, I firmly agree that primary schools are placing too much emphasis on formal learning. This essay will discuss the disadvantages of this approach and explain why play should be an important part of children's early education.

One major drawback of excessive learning is that it put too much pressure on young children. Being expected to perform well in different subjects at an early age may cause stress and anxiety, which eventually effect their overall well-being. Moreover, Spending too much time on individual classroom tasks can limit children's opportunities to develop social skills such as team work, sharing. As an illustration, a child who spends most of the day completing worksheets has fewer opportunities to interact and cooperate with peer group.

Play, on the other hand, is an essential part of the child's development, both cognitive and physical. Through activities such as puzzles, building blocks and other imaginative games, children can foster problem-solving abilities and creative thinking skills while enjoying themselves. For instance, when a children complete a puzzle, they learn to try different solutions and think independently. Furthermore, playing outdoor games such as football, cricket makes them healthy, strong and also helps them communicate, share and work as a team. It can help them relax, express their emotions and become more confident.

However, it does not mean that formal learning should be removed from primary education. Academic subjects provide children with essential knowledge and prepare them for the higher education. Therefore, schools ought to maintain a balance approach between structured learning and play rather than focusing excessively on one.

In conclusion, although formal learning provides young children with essential academic knowledge, I believe that giving too much important can negatively effect their emotional and social development. Therefore, play should be given equally important place in primary education.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 7.0

The response successfully addresses all parts of the two-part prompt by clearly stating a position agreeing that formal learning is overemphasized and explaining the importance of play. A clear position is maintained throughout the essay. The ideas presented are generally extended and supported, such as discussing cognitive and physical development through puzzles and outdoor games. However, there is a slight tendency to overgeneralize in places, and some arguments could be more fully elaborated to reach a higher level. For instance, the discussion on social skills is introduced but could be deepened with more specific examples. Overall, the coverage is solid, fulfilling the requirements well with relevant ideas that are appropriately developed for this level.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The response demonstrates a clear overall progression and logical organisation throughout. Each paragraph has a distinct focus, moving smoothly from the introduction to the drawbacks of excessive formal learning, the benefits of play, a balanced counter-perspective, and a concise conclusion. Cohesive devices are used adequately, such as 'One major drawback', 'On the other hand', and 'Furthermore'. However, cohesion can sometimes feel slightly mechanical or formulaic, and referencing is not always completely fluid. Paragraphing is used appropriately to separate distinct themes, successfully meeting the criteria for a coherent and logically structured essay that guides the reader easily through the argument.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

The student uses an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, attempting some less common items such as 'excessive learning', 'well-being', and 'problem-solving abilities'. However, there are noticeable limitations in lexical precision and word choice, along with some word form and collocation inaccuracies, such as writing 'effect' instead of 'affect', 'team work' as two words, 'balance approach' instead of 'balanced approach', and 'giving too much important' instead of 'importance'. Additionally, phrases like 'a children' demonstrate slips in basic word forms. These errors do not impede communication, but they restrict the lexical score because of frequent minor inaccuracies in word choice and form.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 6.0

The essay displays a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, demonstrating an ability to use subordination and relative clauses, such as 'a child who spends most of the day completing worksheets'. There are some errors in grammar and punctuation present throughout the text, including subject-verb agreement issues like 'when a children complete', missing articles before singular countable nouns, and preposition usage within patterns. Crucially, these errors rarely impede communication and do not obscure the meaning of the sentences. The punctuation is generally functional, and while complex structures are attempted, they are not always entirely error-free, which places the grammar comfortably at this level.

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