Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-01

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Primary schools is of the important time of children in their lives. It always feel like a huge change for the kids, stepping into educational world, new environment and unknown kids of same ages. I highly agree, rather than focusing on formal studies, it should be fun and interactive for kids so they can adjust into new environment.

Average age of students, in their primary school is 5 to 7 years. It is the most important time of their brain development. Learning how to communicate, interact and perceive their surrounding. Schools curriculum should be a designed in a way that children could engage into those activities, rather than focusing on formal education such as homework, classwork, they be doing all those in future for rest of their educational life. It is necessary that they get comfortable into new environment, away from their familiar environment such as their home, parents, before stepping into real learning environment.

comparing two children, who has experience different environment in their primary schools show a major difference in their learning. Due to the high paying fees pulls back some parents to sending their kids in better schools which effect their learning abilities and shows major contrast between children of same age but different school,which plays important role into building their foundation later in their education.

in my conclusion, although learning through interactive activities are really beneficial fornthe students, to adjust in new environment, brain development but some children never experience this same environment, so it is school responsibility to make school curriculum as playful and learning as they can.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

The response addresses the prompt by discussing whether primary schools focus too much on formal learning and the importance of play. However, the treatment of the task remains somewhat partial and limited. While the writer expresses a clear opinion in the introduction that schooling should be fun and interactive, the supporting ideas are relatively under-developed. For instance, the discussion regarding brain development and children adjusting to a new environment is introduced in the second paragraph, but it lacks specific extension or thorough exploration. Similarly, the final body paragraph touches upon socioeconomic factors and school fees, but this point remains tangential to the core question about formal learning versus play. Consequently, the ideas are presented with limited elaboration, reflecting a response that covers the main requirements of the prompt but leaves several points underdeveloped.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0

The essay displays some overall organization with identifiable introduction and conclusion paragraphs, but it lacks a clear and consistent progression throughout the body. The transition between ideas can feel abrupt, and the logical development from one point to the next is sometimes disrupted by confusing sentence sequencing. Cohesive devices are used sparingly and are occasionally inaccurate or repetitive, such as the frequent reliance on simple transitional structures or missing links between sentences. Paragraphing is attempted, but internal paragraph cohesion is weak, leading to a structure where thoughts run together without a smooth flow. Referencing is also occasionally unclear, making it sometimes difficult for the reader to follow the exact relationship between the arguments presented.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

The vocabulary used is limited but minimally adequate to convey the basic message of the prompt. The writer attempts some less common expressions, such as 'brain development' and 'interactive activities', but these attempts are accompanied by noticeable errors in word choice, word form, and collocation, such as 'high paying fees' instead of 'high tuition fees' and 'fornthe' which indicates a typo. Other lexical inaccuracies, such as 'unknown kids of same ages' and 'schools curriculum should be a designed', detract from the precision of the writing. These lexical errors and limitations cause some occasional difficulty for the reader, though communication is generally maintained.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

The writing exhibits a very limited range of sentence structures, relying heavily on simple sentences and basic clauses. Attempts at more complex sentence forms are frequently faulty, leading to frequent grammatical errors that can cause difficulty for the reader. There are persistent errors in verb forms and tenses, such as 'Primary schools is of the important time' and 'it always feel like', as well as frequent issues with subject-verb agreement and article usage. Additionally, punctuation errors and missing prepositions within grammatical patterns are common, such as 'stepping into educational world' lacking the necessary article. The high frequency of basic grammatical inaccuracies restricts the structural variety and impacts the overall clarity of the text.

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