Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-01

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.0)

Formal learning means organized and structured education that takes place in school. Some people believes that primary schools focus too much on formal learning which I believe is true.

Firstly under-graduates should be focused on study as well as sports. In my society, most of the schools are focusing their teachers to teach about their specific subjects only but I believe children should get focused on study as well as learning different activities such as sports, dancing, singing and so on. As we all know, every kid does not have excellent mind. They need to be asked what they are interested in and professors should try to find talent in every students and police them in that field. For example, if one student is weak at his study, try asking him what he likes and sharpen him in that field in many categories such as sports.

I think it is the most important for children to plan as well as learn in the primary school classroom because it is the beginning level of study where we need to know about the talents of students. If we teach them only about their course subject, they will feel bored studying everytime so children needs refreshment. Schools should provide a extra time regulary about an hour for students to know about their talents. We should let them play and get refreshed. Children does not understand everything about what we say so we should play with them together and attract them towards us from which they will share small details about them with teachers.

In conclusion, formal learning should not be focused too much and teachers should get engaged with students by playing games together rather than only teaching.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0

The response addresses the main prompt by discussing both formal learning and the importance of play in primary school, presenting a clear position that formal learning is currently overemphasized. However, the development of ideas remains limited and under-developed. For instance, the writer introduces points about children's varying talents and the need for refreshment, but these arguments lack depth, specific examples, or strong supporting evidence. The use of the term "under-graduates" reveals a misunderstanding of primary school education, referring instead to university students. To improve, the writer needs to expand on ideas fully, ensuring all references target the correct age group and arguments are thoroughly explained.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0

There is a basic logical arrangement in the essay, moving from an introduction to body paragraphs discussing subjects versus activities, the importance of play, and a brief conclusion. However, overall progression is hindered by simplistic transitions and repetitive structures. Cohesive devices are used mechanically, such as "Firstly" and "In conclusion," but internal cohesion within paragraphs is frequently faulty. For example, referencing is sometimes unclear, with pronouns like "they" and "them" creating ambiguity regarding whether the writer is referring to teachers or students. Paragraphing is present, but grouping ideas more logically and employing a wider, more accurate range of cohesive ties would significantly improve the flow and structure of the writing.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

The vocabulary used is limited and minimally adequate for the task. The writer relies on basic and repetitive lexical items throughout the response, such as "study," "learn," "play," and "children." There are noticeable errors in word choice and collocation that occasionally cause difficulty for the reader, including phrasing like "plan as well as learn" (likely intending 'play') and "police them in that field" (using 'police' instead of 'guide' or 'train'). Spelling and word-form errors, such as "everytime" and "regulary," further restrict the lexical score. To move to a higher band, the writer must incorporate a wider range of less common vocabulary and demonstrate better control over word choice and word formation.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

The response displays a very limited range of sentence structures, relying mostly on simple sentences joined by coordinating conjunctions. Attempts at complex sentences are frequently faulty, leading to frequent grammatical errors that can cause difficulty for the reader. There are issues with subject-verb agreement, such as "Some people believes," and problems with plurals and articles, as seen in "every students" and "an extra time regulary." Punctuation errors are also present, including missing commas after introductory phrases. To achieve a higher score, the writer needs to incorporate a wider variety of complex grammatical structures while improving the accuracy of basic tense control, agreement, and punctuation.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

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