Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-01

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 4.5)

Some individulas think that elementary schools concentrate too much on basic studies. In this essay I will discuss this argue with this opinion and discuss the why schools only focus on learning and not concentrate on different kind of activities.

To begin with, one main reason is primary schools only focus on basic learning because they think that if students focus on different kind of activities students can not concentrate on study. This is important because it affects students in their daily life. For example, most of students interest like outdoor activities therefore schools not focused in these type activity that student not involve they only focus on their studies. It is clear that this issue can have a direct effect on students and society. Looking at the issue from this angle also helps us understand its wider importance and possible effects on the community as a whole over time.

Furthermore, another important point is schools give a lots of facilities in thier schools that students take interest on different outdoor activities that well in their health. For instance, if students only work on bacis study they are not doing well in thier future life this is the reason primary schools should take these types of initiate. This can create positive changes and reduce some of the difficulties linked to this situation. For these reasons, this point deserves attention. It shows that issue should be considered from than one side, especially when we think about its effects on peoples lives and the winder community. This approach can help readers see why the matter is relevant and why careful decision are needed in everyday situation.

To sum up, firsty some people opinion and other primary schools take these types of initiate then the result aspect in positive way.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.5

The response addresses the task only partially. While the student attempts to respond to both parts of the prompt regarding formal learning and play in primary schools, the ideas remain limited and under-developed. For instance, the statement 'this essay I will discuss this argue with this opinion' shows an unclear position. Furthermore, the reasoning provided in the body paragraphs is repetitive and lacks specific, well-developed examples, relying instead on vague generalisations such as 'it affects students in their daily life' without fully explaining the connection. To move to a higher level, the writer needs to present a clear, consistent position throughout and extend their ideas with fully elaborated arguments and concrete examples.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5

The response demonstrates some organisation with basic paragraphing, but there is no clear overall progression of ideas. While transitional markers like 'To begin with' and 'Furthermore' are used, the logical links between sentences and paragraphs are frequently strained and mechanical. For example, the transition from discussing basic studies to school facilities feels abrupt and lacks a smooth thematic connection. Additionally, referencing is occasionally unclear, as seen in phrases like 'this approach can help readers see why the matter is relevant,' which disconnects the essay from the actual prompt. Achieving a more coherent structure requires ensuring that each paragraph builds logically upon the previous one with clear, precise relationships between ideas.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

The vocabulary used is limited and barely adequate for the task. The writer relies heavily on basic, repetitive words and phrases, such as 'basic studies,' 'different kind of activities,' and 'primary schools.' There are also noticeable errors in word choice, collocation, and spelling throughout the text, including 'individulas' instead of 'individuals,' 'bacis' instead of 'basic,' 'winder' instead of 'wider,' and 'decision' instead of 'decisions.' These errors occasionally cause difficulty for the reader. To improve lexical range and precision, the student should incorporate a wider variety of less common academic vocabulary and pay closer attention to accurate word forms and spelling.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

The text displays a very limited range of grammatical structures, relying mostly on simple sentences or faulty attempts at complex ones. Frequent errors are present across the response, such as missing articles ('focus on study'), incorrect verb forms ('schools not focused in these type activity'), and awkward clause structures ('this is the reason primary schools should take these types of initiate'). Punctuation and agreement errors also occur frequently and can cause difficulty for the reader. To achieve a higher standard, the writer must demonstrate better control over a wider variety of sentence patterns, ensuring that complex structures are formed accurately and that basic grammatical rules regarding verb tenses and agreement are consistently applied.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

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