Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-01

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Most  people argue that primary education departments are very strict on formal learning. I wholeheartedly agree with this view, as academic education is important, but children should also have sufficient opportunities to play.

To begin with, formal learning plays an important role in a child's life. With the help of formal learning a child becomes responsible and hardworking guy. In most of primary schools the department only focuses on formal learning. At primary school, children need to develop basic skills such as reading, writing and mathematics. These skills provide a strong foundation for their future education and help them become more confident learners. For instance, a child who learns these basic skills earlier could have an access to learn difficult skills easily and in the future he would not have to face a problem with his skills. Hence, academic learning plays a vital role in a child's life.

However, i believe that playing is also very significant in a child's life. Play can help them develop creativity, communication skills and teamwork with other people. Moreover, play is very important in a child's life because when a child is tired of hectic life and his brain responds a little bit less then play refreshes the mind of a child and it makes the mind of a child sharper .In this way, students can learn important skills without feeling that they are constantly studying.

In conclusion, although formal learning in necessary for child's academic development yet play is also very vital in a childs health or learning also.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

The response addresses all parts of both direct questions in the prompt, successfully presenting a clear position agreeing that formal learning is heavily focused on while also arguing for the importance of play. The ideas presented are relevant, but some are under-developed or lack sufficient extension. For instance, the discussion on how play develops creativity and teamwork is stated rather than fully explained with specific examples. Similarly, the argument regarding the child's brain responding less after a hectic routine is somewhat generalized. To reach a higher level, the writer needs to extend these supporting ideas with more depth and concrete examples rather than relying on brief assertions.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The essay presents a coherent overall arrangement with a clear, logical structure divided into appropriate paragraphs, including an introduction, two body paragraphs focusing on each part of the prompt, and a conclusion. The logical progression is generally clear, though referencing and cohesion can occasionally feel mechanical or repetitive, such as the frequent reliance on phrases like 'In a child's life' and basic transition words like 'To begin with' and 'Moreover'. While paragraphing is used sufficiently to separate distinct arguments, the links between sentences could be managed more flexibly to achieve a smoother flow throughout the response.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

The vocabulary used is adequate for the task, providing enough range to communicate the main points. The writer attempts some less common vocabulary, such as 'foundation', 'creativity', and 'hesitant life' (intended as hectic), but these attempts are occasionally marred by inaccurate word choice or collocations, like using 'guy' instead of 'individual' or 'person'. There are also minor lexical and word-form errors, such as 'in necessary' instead of 'is necessary' and missing pluralization in 'childs health'. These errors do not seriously impede communication, but they reflect a limited and developing lexical range that requires greater precision.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

The writing demonstrates a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, utilizing structures like conditional and relative clauses ('a child who learns these basic skills...'). However, there are noticeable errors in grammar, punctuation, and article usage throughout the text, such as missing articles ('in most of primary schools'), incorrect prepositions ('have an access to learn'), and minor punctuation slips. While these errors occur regularly, they rarely impede the reader's understanding. To improve, the writer needs to increase grammatical accuracy in complex structures and refine punctuation control.

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