Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-01

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Primary schools is of the important time of children in their lives. It always feel like a huge change for the kids, stepping into educational world, new environment and unknown kids of same ages. I strongly agree, rather than focusing on formal studies, it should be fun and interactive for kids so they can adjust into new environment.

Average age of students, at their primary school is 5 to 7 years. It is the most important time of their brain development. Learning how to communicate, interact and perceive their surrounding. Schools curriculum should be a designed in a way that children could engage into those activities, rather than focusing on formal education such as homework, classwork, they be doing all those in future for rest of their educational life. It is necessary that they get comfortable into new environment, away from their familiar environment such as their home, parents, before stepping into real learning environment.

Comparing two children, who has experience different environment in their primary schools show a major difference in their learning. Due to the high tuition fees prevent some parents from sending their kids in better schools which effect their learning abilities and shows major contrast between children of same age but different school, which plays important role into building their foundation later in their education.

In my conclusion, although learning through interactive activities are really beneficial fornthe students, to adjust in new environment, brain development, but some children never experience this same environment, so it is school responsibility to make school curriculum as playful and educational as they can.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

The response addresses the two-part prompt, acknowledging that primary schools focus on formal learning and discussing the importance of play alongside study. However, the development of ideas remains limited and under-developed, placing the response at this band. While the writer shares general thoughts about brain development and the transition into a new environment, the arguments lack robust supporting evidence and tend to wander into tangential points regarding tuition fees and socioeconomic differences. The position is stated, but it is not always clearly sustained throughout the body paragraphs. To move towards a higher level, the writer needs to fully extend their main ideas with specific explanations and concrete examples directly connected to the prompt rather than relying on brief generalizations.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

There is some basic organization present, with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a concluding section, but the text lacks a clear overall progression. Paragraphing is attempted, yet ideas within paragraphs do not flow smoothly from one to the next. Cohesive devices are either inadequate or slightly repetitive, making the connections between sentences feel a bit mechanical. For instance, transitional phrases between ideas are missing or imprecise, leading to disjointed transitions, as seen in the movement from discussing brain development to tuition fees. To improve coherence, the writer should ensure each paragraph focuses on a single clear central topic and use a wider, more accurate variety of cohesive markers to guide the reader logically through the argument.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

The vocabulary used is limited but minimally adequate to convey basic meaning. The writer attempts some less common terms and phrases, such as 'brain development' and 'interactive activities', but there are noticeable errors in word choice, form, and collocation, such as 'fornthe' and 'formal studies' versus 'formal learning'. These inaccuracies occasionally cause minor strain for the reader. To achieve a higher score, the writer must expand their lexical range and demonstrate greater control over less common vocabulary items, ensuring that words are chosen precisely and spelled correctly in context.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

The response displays a very limited range of sentence structures, relying heavily on simple sentences and basic combinations. Attempts at complex sentences are frequently faulty, leading to frequent errors in grammar, subject-verb agreement, and articles. Examples of inaccuracies include 'Primary schools is of the important time', 'Schools curriculum should be a designed', and fragment-like structures such as 'Comparing two children, who has experience different environment in their primary schools show a major difference'. Punctuation is also erratic in places. To reach the next level, the writer needs to demonstrate a greater variety of complex grammatical structures with a higher frequency of error-free sentences, alongside careful proofreading to fix basic agreement and article errors.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

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