Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-01

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Primary schools is of the important time of children in their lives. It always feel like a huge change for the kids, stepping in educational world, new environment and unknown kids of same ages. I strongly agree, rather than focusing on formal studies, it should be fun and interactive for the kids so they can adjust in the new environment.

Average age of students at their primary school is 5 to 7 years. It is an important time of their brain development. Learning how to communicate, interact and perceive their surrounding. Schools curriculum should be a designed in a way that children could engage in those activities, rather than focusing on formal education such as homework, classwork, they be doing all those in future for rest of their educational life. It is necessary that they get comfortable in the new environment, away from their familiar environment such as their home and parents, before stepping into real learning environment.

Comparing two children who have experience different environment in their primary school shows a major difference in their learning. The high tuition fees prevent some parents from sending their kids in better schools which effect their learning abilities and shows major contrast between children of same age but different school, which plays important role into building their foundation later in their education.

In my conclusion, although learning through interactive activities are really beneficial for the students to adjust in new environment, brain development, but some children never experience the same environment, so it is the school's responsibility to make school curriculum as playful and educational as it can.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

The response addresses the prompt and presents a clear position regarding the balance of formal learning and play in primary schools. However, the ideas remain somewhat limited and under-developed. For instance, the introduction states agreement with the idea that primary education should be fun and interactive, but the supporting points in the body paragraphs tend to wander into related yet underdeveloped topics, such as the comparison between children from different socioeconomic backgrounds and tuition fees. While these ideas touch upon the broader context of schooling, they detract from a direct, fully extended discussion of the core question regarding play versus formal learning. To move to a higher level, the ideas need to be more thoroughly explored and directly linked to the prompt throughout the response.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The essay presents some overall organisation with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, and it is divided into distinct paragraphs. However, there is a lack of clear overall progression across the text, and the transitions between paragraphs can feel abrupt. For example, the third paragraph shifts suddenly to discuss tuition fees and socioeconomic differences without a smooth cohesive link to the preceding discussion on brain development and curricula. Furthermore, cohesive devices are sometimes mechanical or repetitive, as seen with phrases like 'In my conclusion,' and referencing is occasionally unclear, which prevents the writing from flowing smoothly and logically from one point to the next.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

The vocabulary used is limited but minimally adequate for the task, allowing the writer to communicate basic ideas about education and childhood development. There are noticeable errors in word choice, collocation, and word formation, such as 'educational world' instead of 'educational environment' and 'Schools curriculum' instead of 'School curriculum'. Additionally, phrases like 'experience different environment' demonstrate a lack of precision. While the writer attempts some less common vocabulary items, such as 'socioeconomic' contexts implied through tuition fees, inaccuracies in word forms and collocations are frequent enough to cause some difficulty for the reader and prevent the lexical score from rising.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

The text displays a very limited range of grammatical structures, relying heavily on simple sentences and basic sentence patterns. Attempts at complex sentences are often faulty, featuring frequent errors such as subject-verb agreement issues ('Primary schools is of the important time', 'Schools curriculum should be a designed'), fragment sentences ('Learning how to communicate, interact and perceive their surrounding'), and missing articles or prepositions. Punctuation and verb tense usage also contain frequent errors that can cause difficulty for the reader, indicating that basic grammatical control still needs considerable strengthening before more complex structures can be used accurately.

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