Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-01

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.0)

IN MODERN CENTURY WE SEE THAT SCHOOLS TEND TO FOCUS MORE ON FORMAL LEARNING THAN INCLUSING OTHER STUFF TO WHICH CAN BENIFIT CHILDRENS. AND AT HIGH EXTENT I AGREE WITH THIS OPINION.

FIRSTLY , IF WE SEE SCHOOLS IN OUR COUNTRY AT PRIMARY LEVEL SPECIALLY IN PAKISTAN MOSTLY STUDENTS ARE FORCED TO DO FORMAL LEARNING AS IT WAS ADDED IN THEIR CIRCULAM AS AN MUST THING TO DO DUE TO THIS MANY STUDENTS DRAIN THEIR ENERGY ON FORMAL LEARNING WHICH THEY DIDN,T WANNA DO FOR EXAMPLE: IF A STUDENT LIKES TO DO PAINTING IF HE WILL BE FORCED TO DO DRAWING HE WILL USE HIS ENERGRY ON AN UNNECESSARY THING WHICH WILL CONTRIBUTE NIL IN THE PRODUCTIVITY SO STUDENTS GROUPS SHOULD BE MADE ON BASIS OF THEIR INTREST AND FORMAL LEARNING SHOULD BE REPLACED BY THAT.

SECONDLY, I SEE THAT IT IS MORE IMPORTANT FOR CVHILDERN TO PLAY WITH THE LEARNING ACTIVITES. AS WE SEE CHILDRENS WHO TEND TO PLAY IN THEIR FREE TIME ARE MORE ACTIVE AND PERFOM WELL IN ADAPTING NEW THINGS. AS WE SEE IN TODAYS WORLD MOST OF THE TIME STUDENTS ARE SPENDING THEIR LEISURE TIME ON MOBILE AND ITS KILLING THEIR PRODUCTIVITY SO PROPER PLAY ACTIVITES HOULD BE ARRANGED SO STUDENTS CAN EASILY ADAPT THEM FOR THEIR UPCOMING LIFE AND BENEFICIAL FOR THEM BOTH PHYSICALLY AND MENTALLY.

CONCLUSION ;

IN THE PRESENT TIME MOST OF THE CHILDRENS ARE ADAPTING TECHNOLOGY AND MANY FORMAL ACTIVITES ARE TAKING PLACE THOSE ARE ALSO ESSENTIAL BUT SHOULD BE INTREST BASED AND CHILDRENS SHOULD LEARN AND PLAY AS WELL.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

The response addresses the prompt by taking a clear stance on formal learning and discussing the importance of play in primary classrooms. However, the development of ideas remains limited and under-developed. For instance, the example provided about a student forced to do painting versus drawing is slightly confused and does not fully substantiate the broader argument about curriculum design. The discussion on how technology distracts children is somewhat tangential to the core debate about play-based learning versus formal instruction. To move beyond this level, the ideas need to be more fully extended and supported with clearer, more relevant examples that directly answer all parts of the two-part prompt in greater depth.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0

There is some basic organisation with a clear attempt at paragraphing, including an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. However, there is a lack of clear overall progression throughout the essay. Cohesive devices are often inadequate, inaccurate, or over-used, such as the repetitive mechanical use of 'AS WE SEE' and 'FIRSTLY / SECONDLY' without smooth transitions. Referencing is occasionally unclear, and the overall logical flow is hindered by abrupt transitions between sentences and ideas, particularly around the conclusion section which is formatted awkwardly. To achieve a higher level, the writer needs to employ a wider range of cohesive devices more naturally and ensure that each paragraph builds logically upon the previous one.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

The vocabulary used is limited and barely adequate for the task. There are noticeable errors in word choice, collocation, and word form, such as 'INCLUSING OTHER STUFF' instead of including other activities, 'BENIFIT CHILDRENS' instead of benefiting children, and 'CIRCULAM AS AN MUST THING' instead of curriculum as a mandatory aspect. Additionally, spelling errors occur frequently, including 'BENIFIT', 'CHILDRENS', 'SPECIALLY', 'CIRCULAM', 'ENERGRY', 'INTREST', and 'CVHILDERN'. These lexical inaccuracies and non-standard forms cause some difficulty for the reader and reflect a restricted vocabulary range. To improve, the student must expand their repertoire of less common lexical items and pay closer attention to standard spelling and word formation.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

The writing displays a limited range of structures, relying mostly on simple sentences alongside some attempts at complex sentences that are frequently faulty. There are frequent errors in grammar, punctuation, and agreement that cause difficulty for the reader, such as run-on sentences, missing articles, and incorrect tense usage, for example: 'IF A STUDENT LIKES TO DO PAINTING IF HE WILL BE FORCED...'. Punctuation is also problematic, evidenced by inappropriate comma splices and an orphaned 'CONCLUSION ;' header. To progress, the writer needs to demonstrate a greater variety of complex sentence forms with better control over basic grammatical boundaries, subject-verb agreement, and punctuation.

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