Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-01

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.0)

So the topic is about the children learning , i strongly agree with this point that the children should play as well as learn in the primary school . but primary schools focus too much on formal learning ,through this the children development are not as much like other countries children , In our country institute focuses only on education exams , rather than other physical activities and games , we should copy to other countries methodology , we should adapt some changes like take some time on playing activities which includes different games ,so with the education they can also enjoy with their friends and create a good memories also , and take some time for environmental guidence like the planting different trees activity , so engage them with different activites , through this they can enhance their knowledge alot and it is helpul for their future life , also do creative activity with the children like what they like to make or do in the classroom which includes like painting , sketching ,stitching different clothes , through this activities it can boost the confidence of the children , like in other countries they are more focused on skill ful things like how u wash your clothes,brush your teeth in a perfect directions, how to clean your room , how to help to another person , how u can cook if you are alone ,so these type of skills we should gave knowledge to our children ,because through this it create a discipline among the children,we should also educate about how to live a healthy life ,whats habits we should adapt,if we make this change our children it will become a success for the entire generations.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

The response addresses all parts of the task by discussing both whether primary schools focus too much on formal learning and the importance of play alongside learning. A clear position is established from the beginning, stating strong agreement with the idea that children need a balance of play and education. However, some ideas are under-developed or repetitive. For instance, the discussion on life skills and practical activities is introduced with examples like brushing teeth and washing clothes, but these points lack deeper extension and support. To reach the next level, the writer needs to fully develop all main points with more specific examples and elaborate on the reasoning behind why formal learning is currently overemphasised.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.0

The response suffers from significant issues with overall arrangement and progression. The entire text is presented as a single, massive run-on paragraph without any logical paragraph breaks to separate distinct ideas, such as moving from academic pressures to outdoor activities, and then to practical life skills. Furthermore, cohesive devices are virtually absent, relying instead on endless comma splices and conjunctions like 'and' or 'through this' to connect clauses. Referencing is also unclear at times, making the progression of ideas difficult to follow. To improve, the writer must divide the essay into clear paragraphs and use a wider variety of appropriate cohesive devices to link sentences and arguments logically.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

The vocabulary used is adequate for communicating basic ideas, but it remains limited and repetitive. The writer attempts some less common vocabulary, such as 'environmental guidence' and 'physical activities', but these attempts are often accompanied by word choice and spelling inaccuracies. There are noticeable errors in word formation and collocation, such as 'institute focuses' instead of 'institutions focus' and 'gave knowledge' instead of 'impart knowledge'. These errors do not completely impede communication, but they restrict the response from achieving a higher score. To enhance lexical resource, the writer should focus on expanding their vocabulary range, ensuring correct word forms, and using precise academic terms suited to the topic.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

The grammar demonstrates a very limited range of structures, relying almost exclusively on long, rambling simple sentences connected by commas rather than proper subordination or punctuation. There are frequent errors in sentence structure, subject-verb agreement, and articles, such as 'the children development' and 'other countries children'. Additionally, punctuation is heavily neglected, resulting in comma splices throughout the text. While simple structures are sometimes controlled, complex sentences are either absent or faulty. To progress, the writer needs to use a mix of simple and complex sentence forms accurately, improve control over basic grammatical boundaries, and use full stops and capital letters correctly to separate sentences.

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