Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-01

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Nowadays, education play a key role in the overall growth of children. It is often argued by some that primary schools focus too much on formal learning. Meanwhile, others still claim that play should be also an important part of classroom. I prefer the latter view.

On one hand, the supporters of the idea that formal learning essential believe that basic subject reading and math required strict attention. This because early discipline help students build a solid academic base for high school. For instance, children practice reading skill daily then achieve the good score in future exam. Hence, structured study remain a major focus in many primary schools.

On the other hand, the advocates of the view that play is equally important believe that classroom games improves social and physical skills. This is because young children learn teamwork and and communication through group activities. Take an example, playing games in classroom allows students share ideas and solve simple problems together. However, children learn something new together during class activities and study. Thus, group activities makes learning more enjoyable and effective.

Whereas, I believe that primary education must balance both study and play. This is because spending all day on formal lessons can make young minds stressed and tired. Besides this, interactive games keep students active and interested in coming to school every day. Resultantly, a flexible teaching style leads to healthy development in young learners.

To sum up, although formal study builds academic skills, play in the classroom is equally vital for a child's complete growth

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

The response addresses all parts of the two-part prompt, presenting a clear position throughout the essay. The writer discusses both the focus on formal learning and the importance of play in primary schools, fulfilling the basic requirements of the task. However, the development of ideas is uneven. While some points are clearly made, others remain somewhat under-developed or briefly stated, such as the generalisation about children practicing reading skills daily to achieve good scores. To move to a higher level, the ideas need to be extended further with more robust supporting arguments and more fully realised examples rather than relying on brief explanations.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The essay presents a coherent overall arrangement with a logical progression of ideas from introduction to conclusion. Paragraphing is used appropriately to separate different arguments, with each body paragraph focusing on a distinct perspective. Cohesive devices are employed to connect sentences and ideas, though referencing and linking can occasionally feel slightly mechanical or repetitive, such as the heavy reliance on transitional markers like 'On the one hand' and 'On the other hand'. To achieve a higher score, the integration of cohesive devices should be more seamless and varied, ensuring that the transitions between sentences feel completely natural and unobtrusive.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

The writer demonstrates an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, successfully communicating central ideas relating to education and child development. There are attempts to use less common vocabulary, such as 'overall growth', 'structured study', and 'flexible teaching style'. However, there are some noticeable inaccuracies in word choice, word form, and collocation, such as writing 'education play' instead of 'education plays', 'learning essential believe' instead of 'learning essentially believe', and 'allows students share' instead of 'allows students to share'. These errors do not impede communication, but they reflect a limited precision in lexical control that prevents the writing from reaching the next level.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

The essay demonstrates a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, incorporating structures such as subordinate clauses introduced by 'although', 'because', and 'while'. There are some grammatical and punctuation errors present throughout the text, including subject-verb agreement issues like 'discipline help' instead of 'discipline helps', missing articles or prepositions, and awkward phrasing such as 'This because early discipline help'. Nonetheless, these errors are not overly frequent and rarely impede communication, allowing the reader to follow the argument without significant difficulty. Greater control over complex sentence structures and improved grammatical accuracy are needed to secure a higher band.

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