Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-01

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

There is some debate over whether schools should provide physical activity, as they focus too much on academic performance. I totally agree that there should be some activities for children, as they allow them to be much stronger and more powerful; as a result, it is quite important.

Some private schools concentrate only on academic learning, which can be harmful to students' mental health as they do not do anything except study. This is particularly problematic for children who have health issues. For example, they can feel anxiety and depression, after which they may feel burnout. This can lead to them either stopping attending their classes or being unable to concentrate well. Hence, it can be very problematic for their emotional well-being.

However, teachers often fail to be aware of the importance of playing sports for children. They can be well motivated to go to school with friends just to play with each other after long periods of education. In particular, having a swimming pool or tennis courts can be a much better way of enhancing their state of mind. This not only boosts their health but also improves their communication skills as they can find a partner to play with. Therefore, there will only be positive sides.

In conclusion, some students spend too much time on education, after which it can take a toll on their mental health. To avoid this, teachers should realize this and allow time for students to spend time with their classmates to play interesting games or do some useful exercises to be more energetic. I would argue that these activities should be provided by every school.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

The response addresses all parts of the prompt, expressing a clear position regarding formal learning and explaining why play is important. For example, the student states, "I totally agree that there should be some activities for children," and elaborates on how this prevents burnout and improves well-being. However, some ideas remain under-developed. While the negative effects of stress and lack of physical activity are mentioned, such as "they can feel anxiety and depression," the explanation lacks extension and depth, which prevents the response from moving to a higher band. The overall progression of ideas is present, but arguments would benefit from more detailed elaboration and specific supporting examples.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The essay presents a coherent overall arrangement with a clear introduction and conclusion. Paragraphing is used appropriately to separate different facets of the argument, such as the negative impacts of purely academic learning in the second paragraph and the benefits of sports in the third. Nevertheless, cohesion feels somewhat mechanical at times. Devices like "Hence" and "Therefore" are used, but referencing is occasionally unclear, such as when the pronoun "this" in "teachers should realize this" vaguely refers back to the general concept of student stress rather than a clearly stated antecedent. These lapses mean the organisation, while logical, is not entirely seamless.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

The student uses an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, successfully attempting some less common items such as "burnout," "emotional well-being," and "enhancing their state of mind." However, there are noticeable inaccuracies in word choice and collocation. For instance, describing children as becoming "much stronger and more powerful" is slightly unnatural in an academic context when discussing primary school activities and mental health. Similarly, phrases like "positive sides" could be expressed with greater precision. Spelling and word formation are generally accurate and do not impede communication, allowing the reader to follow the argument without difficulty.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 6.0

The writing demonstrates a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, utilizing structures such as conditional-like ideas and relative clauses ("children who have health issues"). There are some errors in grammar and punctuation, including minor preposition and article lapses, but these rarely impede communication. For example, expressions like "after long periods of education" or "spend time with their classmates to play" exhibit acceptable control, though sentence variety is somewhat restricted. The errors present are typical of a mixed-structure essay where control is generally maintained despite occasional slips in grammatical patterns.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.