Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-01

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

In the modern era, it is accounted that schools play pivotal role in children's education and development. Some argue that primary schools emphasis too much on formal learning. Although, academic learning is significant for children's development. I admire that school should provide a balance education with structured learning and play. With due consideration, both the ideas would be highlighted before a reasoned conclusion is drawn.

On one hand, excessive focus on learning can disturb students mentally, which shows changes in classroom behaviour as well as overall personality. Futhermore, prolonged hours of formal learning can leave children mentally and physically exhaust as a lack of play and physical activities reduce concentration and energy. For instance, if schools impose a well structured timetable students will receive better education. Therefore, it is significant to implement a balanced education for the betterment of the students.

On the other hand, it has been observed that learn-and-play concept are significantly helpful and valuable because this approach keeps young minds engaged and thriving in classroom learning . Additionally, this method improves concentration and is helpful in developing the skills of young individuals. For example, children will develop their skills more effectively if they are provided with the right environment. Thus, combination of study and play can have a overall impact on children's behaviour, classroom performance and social development.

In conclusion, I strongly believe that study -and-play approach is more beneficial because this method encourages children to stay active. In addition, with the help of this approach students inculcate distinctive skills. Therefore, all schools should adopt a balance approach.that includes both formal learning and play.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

The response addresses all parts of the task, presenting both an opinion on formal learning in primary schools and discussing the importance of play alongside study. However, some ideas are more fully developed than others. For example, the argument that excessive learning disturbs students mentally is introduced but lacks specific, well-developed examples to fully support the claim. The position is clear throughout the essay, guiding the reader from the introduction through the body paragraphs to a reasoned conclusion. To reach a higher band, all main ideas would need to be thoroughly extended and supported with robust, detailed explanations and concrete examples rather than general assertions.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The essay demonstrates a coherent overall arrangement with a clear paragraph-by-paragraph structure, including a distinct introduction, two body paragraphs addressing the prompt's facets, and a conclusion. Cohesive devices are used to connect ideas, such as 'On one hand', 'On the other hand', and 'In conclusion', though referencing and cohesion can occasionally feel somewhat mechanical or repetitive. Each paragraph has a clear central topic, but the logical progression between sentences within the body paragraphs could be smoother to avoid slight jumps in thought. To move to a higher band, cohesive devices and referencing would need to be employed more flexibly and unobtrusively throughout the response.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

The response displays an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, attempting less common lexical items such as 'pivotal role', 'prolonged hours', and 'distinctive skills'. However, there are noticeable word choice, collocation, and spelling errors that occasionally detract from precision, such as 'emphasis' instead of 'empathise' or 'emphasise', 'exhaust' instead of 'exhausted', and 'balance approach' instead of 'balanced approach'. Despite these lapses, the vocabulary is minimally adequate and meaning is generally clear. To achieve a higher band, the writer would need to use a wider range of less common vocabulary with greater awareness of style and collocation, while maintaining a much higher level of lexical accuracy.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, attempting structures such as conditional and concessive clauses (e.g., 'Although, academic learning is significant...' and '...if schools impose a well structured timetable...'). There are some errors in grammar and punctuation, such as article omissions ('play a pivotal role', 'provide a balanced education'), faulty sentence fragments ('Although, academic learning...'), and punctuation errors before concluding sentences. Fortunately, these errors rarely impede communication and the reader can follow the intended meaning. To progress further, the writer needs to demonstrate better control over complex sentence structures and punctuation, producing a higher frequency of error-free sentences.

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