Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-01

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

The issue of education is become significantly important around the world,there are some valid arguments of people towards schools are only focusing on formal learning and some other people objected this arguments but i am agree with the valid arguments.

In these highly competitive time where knowledge and other physcial activity is power , growth and development for childrens so these need to be highly balanced so in the progress of every student school plays very vital role so education system has to be proper schedule by school, which is responsible for children mental and physical development so i would like keep the points why the balance between study and playing needed .

now a days the primary school is having plenty of syllabus and courses for childrens which takes there whole day to complete those things which make children mentally exhausted and it also make a direct impact on children physical body also while now a days stamina in children is very low because they are always busy with there studies which is making there physical health poor so school education is only focusing on there students mental well being but they also have give priority to phyical sports playing activiytes like cricket, judo, kick boxing ,football this kind of sports activity make there bones strength very strong and also increases there stamina so my point of view is very clear on this everthing needs to be perfectly balance

In conclusion the primary task of educators is to maintain an balance between play and learn in primary school and 3 times per week they have to conduct playing activites session with childrens

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

The response addresses both parts of the prompt, acknowledging the debate around formal learning and discussing the importance of play in primary schools. However, the ideas remain somewhat limited and under-developed. For instance, the writer asserts that continuous studying causes mental exhaustion and poor physical health, and suggests sports like cricket or judo to build stamina, but these points are stated rather than fully explored with deep reasoning or specific examples from personal experience. The writer's position is discernible, yet the overall development sits firmly at this level because the arguments lack extension and tend to generalise without sufficient elaboration.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

There is a basic level of organisation, with an introduction, a body paragraph, and a conclusion, which provides some overall shape to the essay. However, progression is hindered by poor paragraphing and a lack of clear overall flow. The main body paragraph is a single, extremely long run-on sentence that bundles multiple distinct thoughts together without adequate separation. Furthermore, cohesive devices are generally inadequate and repetitive, relying heavily on basic conjunctions like 'and' and 'while' rather than varied transitions. Referencing is also occasionally unclear, such as when pronouns like 'there' and 'those things' lack precise antecedents, making the logical links between ideas mechanical and difficult to follow.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

The vocabulary used is limited and barely adequate to convey the intended message. While the writer attempts to introduce less common topics and phrases related to health and education, such as 'mental well-being' and 'stamina', these are undermined by noticeable errors. There are frequent lexical and word-form inaccuracies, such as using 'physcial' instead of 'physical', 'there' instead of 'their', 'activiytes' instead of 'activities', and 'strength' as a verb or redundant noun phrase ('bones strength very strong'). These spelling and word-choice errors cause some difficulty for the reader and restrict the range of vocabulary to a basic level.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

The grammatical range is quite limited, consisting mostly of simple and heavily coordinated clauses joined by commas and conjunctions rather than effective complex structures. Attempts at complex sentences are frequently faulty, leading to run-on structures that span entire paragraphs without proper terminal punctuation. There are frequent errors in basic grammar, including subject-verb agreement ('education is become', 'children is very low'), missing articles ('school plays very vital role'), incorrect prepositions, and persistent punctuation issues like comma splices separating independent clauses. These frequent errors require the reader to slow down and occasionally strain to parse the intended meaning.

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