Band 7.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 7.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-02

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 7.0)

In recent years, there has been a lot of discussion about whether primary schools spend too much time on formal learning. In my opinion, I completely agree that schools focus too much on structured lessons like math and reading. I believe that playing is just as important as learning for young children in the classroom.

On the one hand, many primary schools today are under pressure to get good test results. Because of this, teachers spend most of the day on formal learning. Children are expected to sit at desks for long hours, memorizing facts and practicing writing. While it is true that basic reading and math skills are necessary for the future, doing too much of it too early can make children hate school. For example, young kids who are forced to study too hard often suffer from stress and boredom, which stops them from enjoying their childhood.

On the other hand, play is highly important for a child’s development. When children play in the classroom, they do not just have fun; they also learn crucial life skills. For instance, playing group games teaches them how to share, speak with others, and make friends. Furthermore, creative play like drawing or building blocks helps develop their imagination and problem-solving skills. If schools cut down on play, children might become lonely and struggle to interact with their peers.

In conclusion, I believe that primary schools currently focus too much on formal education and exams. Teachers should change this by bringing more play into the daily routine. A good school should combine both learning and playing so that children can grow up to be healthy, happy, and smart.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 7.0

The response addresses all parts of the prompt directly, covering both the extent of agreement and the importance of play in primary schools. The writer maintains a clear, consistent position throughout the essay. Ideas are extended and supported with relevant explanations and examples, such as the mention of group games helping children learn how to share and build social skills. However, there is a slight tendency to over-generalize in places, such as claiming that children forced to study too hard will automatically hate school. To reach a higher band, the arguments could be deepened with more nuanced analysis rather than relying on broader generalisations.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 7.0

The essay demonstrates a clear, logical organisation with a natural progression of ideas throughout. Each paragraph has a distinct focus, moving smoothly from the introduction to the body paragraphs discussing the drawbacks of formal learning and the benefits of play, and concluding with a summary of the writer's stance. Cohesive devices are used appropriately, including transition phrases like 'On the one hand', 'On the other hand', and 'Furthermore'. Paragraphing is well managed and contributes to the overall clarity of the text. To achieve a more advanced level of cohesion, the writer could employ subtler referencing and reduce reliance on standard transitional markers.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.0

The vocabulary used is adequate for the task, providing sufficient range to convey the writer's ideas with reasonable clarity. The student attempts some less common vocabulary items, such as 'crucial life skills', 'structured lessons', and 'problem-solving skills'. While the word choice is generally clear and communicates the intended meaning effectively, there are occasional instances where vocabulary lacks precision or depth, relying on everyday phrasing like 'good test results' instead of more academic alternatives. Spelling and word formation are generally accurate and do not impede communication, but to move beyond this level, a wider and more flexible range of sophisticated lexical items and collocations is needed.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 7.0

The response displays a good variety of sentence structures, combining simple forms with a mix of complex sentences such as conditional clauses ('If schools cut down on play, children might become lonely...') and subordinate clauses. There are frequent error-free sentences, demonstrating good overall control of grammar and punctuation. Minor errors do persist, but they are infrequent and never impede communication. To secure a higher band, the writer could incorporate an even wider range of complex grammatical structures with consistent accuracy across all sentence types.

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