Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-02

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

In the recent years, it is a big debate growth among parent associated with children who go to primary school only receive informal lessons and those kids do not have leisure time in an attempt to play with their peers. I strongly believe that those students need to be conducted curriculum while having sufficient time to enjoy with their friends. However, as far as I have observed officials mostly pay attention to educate kids in order to raise those kids educational knowledge recently.

To begin with, it is obvious that primary schools focus too much on formal learning due to competition in education lately. The reason can be attributed to the fact that to begin for new classes students need to take several exams which accurate students knowledge related to that. Therefore, educators assume that if their students study hard, they might be accepted from high reputation institutions. Furthermore, there are countless give chances students about scholarships again based on their exam results. Thus, parents or teachers, particularly who come from low-income, insist off-springs to gain that. As a result those kids firmly are exposed by curriculum without having any lesson to spend with their circle of friends.

On the other hand, it is clear that it is significantly important to build a good balance between spending time with friends while studying their subjects. The reason can be that according to countless studies, when students hang out with their peers, it strongly helps to develop their cognitive skills. Therefore, they might be able to think different in order to catch answers during the solving problems regarding their curriculum.

In conclusion, it is a recent issue to push kids to only focus on subjects. Nevertheless, approaching a good balance, of course, raises kids success in education and their social lives.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

The response addresses the prompt and attempts to answer both parts of the task regarding formal learning in primary schools and the importance of play. However, the development of ideas remains somewhat limited and under-developed. For instance, the opening states a personal position, but the reasoning throughout the body paragraphs tends to generalise without sufficient specific support or fully elaborated examples. The explanation of why schools focus on formal learning relies on broad assertions about exams and scholarships rather than extended, deeply explored arguments. Similarly, the discussion on cognitive skills in the third paragraph is brief and lacks depth. To move towards a higher band, the writer needs to extend and support all ideas more thoroughly, ensuring that both parts of the prompt receive equal, well-reasoned exploration.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

There is a clear attempt to organise the response into an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, establishing some overall organisation. However, there is no clear overall progression across the text, and the logical flow is occasionally disrupted by mechanical or repetitive cohesive devices. Phrases such as 'To begin with', 'The reason can be attributed to the fact that', and 'On the other hand' are used, but referencing is sometimes unclear, such as in the sentence starting with 'The reason can be that according to countless studies...'. Paragraphing is present, but internal cohesion within paragraphs lacks seamless transitions. To improve, the writer should work on smoother logical links between sentences and ensure that cohesive devices are used more naturally and accurately to guide the reader through a progressive argument.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

The vocabulary used is limited but minimally adequate for the task. The writer attempts some less common vocabulary items, such as 'institutions', 'cognitive skills', and 'curriculum', but these attempts are frequently marred by noticeable errors in word choice, collocation, and word form, such as 'big debate growth', 'accurate students knowledge', 'give chances students', and 'off-springs'. These inaccuracies sometimes cause difficulty for the reader and impede smooth communication. Spelling and morphological control also show frequent slips. To reach a higher level, the writer needs to expand their lexical range and pay closer attention to natural word partnerships, ensuring that vocabulary is chosen precisely and used accurately in appropriate contexts.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

The response demonstrates a limited range of grammatical structures, relying heavily on simple or attempted complex sentences that frequently contain errors. There are noticeable issues with verb forms, tense consistency, and prepositions inside grammatical patterns, such as 'In the recent years', 'parents associated with children who go to primary school only receive', and 'kids firmly are exposed by curriculum'. Attempts at complex structures often result in faulty syntax and awkward phrasing, producing frequent errors that can cause difficulty for the reader. Punctuation and article usage also need tighter control. To achieve a stronger performance, the writer must increase the variety of error-free complex sentences and ensure better mastery of basic grammatical agreements and clause structures.

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