Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-02

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.5)

One big point of contention in different approaches to learning is finding the balance between working and taking time off for oneself. It is relevant across most phases of life, especially so for children in primary schools, which is why it is often debated whether these schools focus too much on formal education. This essay shall divulge my opinion on this matter, and shall discuss the importance of this balance.

It is no secret that there are a great many benefits to encouraging children in primary schools to participate in extracurricular activities such as sports, painting, dancing, and so on. It engages the creative centers of their brains and can boost their cognitive development. There are innumerable studies that prove the boons of adapting a balanced approach to learning, where such activities are integrated into their formal education. This is precisely why I feel that several schools tend to overconentrate on formal learning, neglecting the other side of the equation.

As the old saying goes, "All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy". This is especially applicable in this discussion, as the myriad of research that has been conducted on this topic over the years narrate the same story: leading children down a hyper-focused path of education, especially in these formative years, can have devastating consequences on their development and their mental health. On the other hand, encouraging them to balance studying with playing can in fact enable them to learn better. It can boost their motivation, which is quintessential to the sustainability of their learning efforts. Perhaps bogging them down with studies is a sure-fire way to get them to concentrate for a day or two, but imbibing this crucial lesson of balance serves them better in the decades of education and work that lie ahead.

Thus, I whole-heartedly agree with the opinion mentioned in the question, and I believe play to be as vital as learning in classrooms, as it prepares them for a healthy and balanced life ahead of them.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

The response successfully addresses all parts of the two-part prompt by clearly stating a position on formal learning in primary schools and discussing the importance of play alongside learning. The writer's stance is evident throughout, particularly in the concluding paragraphs. Ideas are generally extended and supported, such as when discussing how extracurricular activities engage the creative centers of the brain and boost cognitive development. However, some arguments exhibit a tendency to generalise or remain slightly under-developed, particularly regarding the specific consequences on mental health. To reach a higher band, the essay would benefit from providing more concrete examples or specific scenarios from educational settings rather than relying entirely on broad assertions and general idioms.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The essay presents a coherent overall arrangement with a clear logical progression from the introduction through the body paragraphs to a firm conclusion. Paragraphing is used sufficiently and appropriately, with each body paragraph dedicated to a distinct thematic focus. Cohesive devices such as 'This is precisely why' and 'On the other hand' are employed to connect ideas, though referencing is occasionally mechanical, as seen in the transition phrases linking sentences. To achieve a higher level of cohesion, the writer could ensure smoother transitions between paragraphs and employ a wider variety of cohesive devices that integrate seamlessly without drawing attention to themselves.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.5

The vocabulary used is adequate for the task, demonstrating an attempt to incorporate less common lexical items such as 'contention', 'extracurricular', 'innumerable', and 'quintessential'. There are occasional inaccuracies in word choice and spelling, such as the typographical error 'overconentrate' instead of 'overconcentrate'. The student shows a reasonable awareness of style and collocation, using phrases like 'hyper-focused path' and 'sustainability of their learning efforts'. To move into a higher band, the response needs to demonstrate a more consistent use of sophisticated vocabulary and idiomatic language with fewer minor slips in spelling and precision.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 7.0

The writing displays a good mix of simple and complex sentence forms, demonstrating control over grammatical structures. The writer successfully employs complex sentences with subordinate clauses, such as 'which is why it is often debated whether these schools focus too much on formal education'. There are some minor errors in grammar and punctuation, but they rarely impede communication and the majority of sentences are clear. To reach a higher band, the student should aim to increase the frequency of error-free complex structures and refine punctuation control across a wider variety of grammatical patterns.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.