Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-02

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.0)

certain people accept that primary school focus too much on tradional learning,while i am not agree with this.  for my opinion children to play as well learn in the primary school class because its intrests increase when children done both learning and playing in class room.

The formal learning is very boring for a children because when the fresh chlidren are admitted to school ther are very unhappy due to strict environment. The children are always to follow rules of teachers who give them or be in disciplined. the children are in depression when they are in home due to home work burden.The another obstacle is that student will obtained high grades in exam to competite their class fellows. formal education concentrate on structure test which causes pressure on students. the formal education only focus on theory not a practicle in the result when student pass out from the education department they has no skill so the chances are zero to achive the jobs so the life is very tuff for these students

while on another hand i prefer to children play as well as learn in the primary school because in this stage the chidren brain are able to seek social skills children are in creative mode.• when children Play helps students manage stress, reduce anxiety, and build confidence in a safe environment.

in conclustion i strongly believe that play as well as learn are much better than formal learning beacuse in formal learning childern brain are stuck or not developed because of so much strict rules.while in playing as well as learning formed a multiple skills in children

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

The response addresses the prompt by discussing both the focus on formal learning and the importance of play in primary schools, establishing a clear position against an overly strict focus. However, the ideas remain limited and are under-developed. For instance, the writer states that formal learning causes depression and high homework burdens, but these points are asserted without sufficient explanation or specific examples. The discussion of play mentions reducing stress and building confidence, but these concepts are not fully extended. To reach a higher level, the ideas need more thorough explanation, greater depth, and more fully realised supporting details.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

There is some organisation evident in the essay, with paragraphs used to separate introduction, body points, and conclusion, yet there is no clear overall progression of thought. Cohesive devices are minimal, repetitive, or inadequate, with abrupt transitions between sentences and ideas, such as the sudden bullet point and the disjointed connection of thoughts within the second body paragraph. Referencing is also occasionally unclear. To improve Coherence and Cohesion, the writer needs to apply a wider and more accurate range of cohesive markers to guide the reader smoothly through the argument, ensuring that each sentence logically builds upon the previous one with a clear progression.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

The vocabulary used is limited and barely adequate for the task, with noticeable errors that occasionally cause difficulty for the reader. The writer attempts some less common vocabulary, such as 'competite', 'practicle', and 'tuff', but these instances contain spelling mistakes and inaccurate word forms. Other expressions, such as 'tradional learning' and 'fresh chlidren', demonstrate restricted control over word choice and collocation. To achieve a higher score, the writer must expand their vocabulary range, improve spelling accuracy, and ensure that words are used in their correct grammatical forms and appropriate contexts.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

The grammatical range is very limited, relying heavily on simple sentence patterns alongside attempts at complex structures that are frequently faulty. There are frequent errors in verb forms, tenses, subject-verb agreement, articles, and sentence structure, such as 'while i am not agree', 'a children', 'ther are very unhappy', and 'when student pass out... they has no skill'. Punctuation is also problematic, including missing capitalization and erratic use of full stops. To progress to a higher band, the writer needs to produce a greater variety of error-free sentences, improve control over basic grammatical structures, and ensure that complex sentences are constructed accurately.

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