Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-02

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Some people argue that primary schools education place excessive emplasis on formal e.

I partly agree with this view because academic learning is essential for childern as well as extra curicular activities also plays the major role.

On the one hand, formal education helps to provide the major improvement in childern's brain. Subjects like, maths, science, social guides childerns to learn about the themes society and various mathematical terms which helps to sharp their memory. If teachers made little focus on these subject students may feel difficult spcially when they enter to secondary level. For example, children who regularly practise reading and mathematics at an early age are generally better prepared to deal with advanced acedemic task later in future.

On the other hand, I believe that children should have sufficient opportunities to take place in playing activities during school hours. Playing can improve their physical health making their body strong. They can learn how to communicate, cooperate and solve problems with their classmate through the games and group activities. Moreover, children may lose their concentration while continuously studying in classroom. For instance, a short outdoor game between lessons can help students to reduce stress and focus on their academic session properly.

In conclusion, although formal education are important for building children's academic foundation, that doesn't mean they should focus on it excessively. The balanced combination of formal learning and playing activities is more beneficial for children's academic, physical and social development, which helps them for building better career in future.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

The response successfully addresses all parts of the two-part prompt by discussing the extent of agreement regarding formal learning and explaining the importance of play in primary schools. A clear position is maintained throughout the essay. However, some ideas remain slightly under-developed, reflecting characteristics of the band level. For instance, while the writer mentions that subjects like maths and science help shape memory, this point is not fully elaborated with deeper analysis. Similarly, the discussion on play touches on physical health and social skills, but these points could be extended further with more detailed examples. Overall, the main arguments are relevant and directly answer the question, showing a solid understanding of the task requirements while falling just short of fully extended, sophisticated idea development.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The essay presents a coherent overall arrangement with a clear logical progression from introduction to body paragraphs and a concluding summary. Paragraphing is used appropriately, with distinct paragraphs dedicated to the introduction, the case for formal education, the importance of play, and the conclusion. Cohesive devices such as 'On the one hand', 'On the other hand', 'Moreover', and 'In conclusion' are employed to guide the reader through the text, although some referencing is occasionally mechanical or slightly repetitive. While the overall structure provides a clear logical flow, the minor stiffness in transitional phrasing prevents the response from achieving a higher level of seamless cohesion.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

The writer demonstrates an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, successfully attempting less common items such as 'excessive emphasis', 'academic foundation', and 'social development'. However, there are noticeable lexical limitations and errors in spelling, word form, and word choice that impact the overall quality. Examples include spelling errors such as 'childern', 'curicular', 'spcially', 'acedemic', and 'academics', alongside awkward word formations like 'social guides' instead of 'social studies'. Word choice inaccuracies, such as 'take place in playing activities' instead of 'participate in play activities', cause some friction for the reader but generally do not completely impede communication.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

The essay displays a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, demonstrating an attempt to use varied structures such as conditional and subordinate clauses. However, there is a limited range of reliable complex structures, and frequent grammatical errors occur in areas such as subject-verb agreement, verb forms, and prepositions. Examples of errors include 'formal education are important' instead of 'is', 'enter to secondary level' instead of 'enter secondary level', and 'help students to reduce' where 'help reduce' is more natural. Punctuation errors, such as comma splices or missing commas after introductory phrases, are also present. These frequent errors occasionally cause difficulty for the reader, placing the grammar firmly at this level.

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