Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-02

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.5)

The significance of physical activity is undeniable. It is argued by a section of society that the focus of primary schools is mainly on structured learning. I entirely agree with this opinion that in this competitive era the focus of educational institutions is on formal learning. However, the significance of playing at young age along side studying is also undeniable.

To begin with, with the advancement of the world, the competition in all the fields is a lot. So, from a young age kids are adviced to focus only on study. Nowadays, primary schools are in competition with other schools. As a result they force their students to fully focus on formal education and not to waste their precious time on sports and other activities. For instance, according to a survey conducted in 2022, majority of the primary schools in Pakistan don't conduct sports gala or any other extra curricular activity. As a result, children loose interest in study and in most of the cases they just leave it.

From my perspective, there are numerous benefits of managing play time with study. Academic participants can enhance their focus and also their brain sharpness by spending a little proportion of day playing their favourite sport. A pupil can relax and take a brake from hectic school schedule and spend some quality time with their kith and kins playing their favourite sport. For example, Norway is among the most inteligent countries around the globe and the cheif reason behind is that they incourage primary school learners to participate in different physical activities. Consequently, the mental health of the youngsters also imrove drastically and also their academic scores.

In conclusion, although most of the junior schools focus on just structural learning because of the ever increasing competition but according to my opinion children's play should also be priorotized alongside study as it will ameliorate their brain sharpness.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 7.0

The response addresses all parts of the prompt by stating a clear position on formal learning in primary schools and discussing the importance of play alongside study. The writer maintains a clear position throughout the essay. Ideas are extended and supported, such as when mentioning the survey conducted in Pakistan and the example of Norway. However, there is a tendency to overgeneralize in places, which is characteristic of this level. For instance, claiming that the majority of primary schools in Pakistan do not conduct any extracurricular activities lacks nuance. To reach a higher level, the ideas would need more fully developed, highly specific supporting details and a more balanced exploration of the arguments without sweeping generalizations.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The essay presents a clear logical organisation and progression throughout. Information and ideas are coherently linked, with a distinct introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. The writer uses various cohesive devices such as 'To begin with', 'As a result', and 'In conclusion' to guide the reader through the argument. However, cohesion can sometimes feel slightly mechanical rather than entirely natural, and referencing is occasionally less precise than it could be. Paragraphing is used sufficiently and appropriately, as each body paragraph deals with a distinct central topic, successfully meeting the requirements of this band while laying the groundwork for the more flexible cohesion seen at higher levels.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

The student uses an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, attempting some less common items such as 'educational institutions', 'extracurricular activity', and 'ameliorate'. However, there are noticeable spelling and word choice errors that do not impede communication. Examples of spelling and lexical slips include 'adviced' instead of 'advised', 'loose' instead of 'lose', 'brake' instead of 'break', 'inteligent' instead of 'intelligent', 'cheif' instead of 'chief', 'incourage' instead of 'encourage', 'imrove' instead of 'improve', and 'priorotized' instead of 'prioritized'. Furthermore, the phrase 'kith and kins' is slightly unnatural and misused in this modern context. To achieve a higher band, the writer needs to expand their range of vocabulary further and eliminate these recurring spelling and collocation inaccuracies.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 6.0

The writer demonstrates a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, utilizing structures like conditional and subordinate clauses appropriately. There are some errors in grammar and punctuation, but they rarely impede communication. Examples of grammatical and mechanical slips include 'at young age' (missing article), 'study' instead of 'studies' or 'studying', 'majority of the primary schools' (missing 'the' or phrasing issues), and issues with verb forms and subject-verb agreement such as 'the mental health of the youngsters also imrove drastically'. Good control of basic sentence structures is evident, but frequent error-free complex sentences are not consistently maintained throughout the text, keeping the grammar firmly at this level.

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