Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-02

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

It is widely acknowledged that primary schools are putting a ton of attention on formal education rather than focusing on extracurricular activities like sports and historical picnics. I strongly believe that nurturing the pupils with day to day activities in order to build their inner strength is also advantageous as the academic syllabus.

On of the main reasons of exposing students of primary schools with other beneficial activities is to achieve the sustainable future outcomes. It really aids adolescents to cope with several future difficulties. Although, I do not refuse to admire the importance of formal learning which revolves around basic course. In additions, institutes are focusing more on these sort of learning methods which ultimately become the reason of potential limitations among the early age students. Learning places are facing competitions with their opponent schools as they have to demonstrate better results on board. For instance, numerous schools are prioritizing academic syllabus which includes lengthy chapters as it put an extra burden and pressure on kids minds. It causes burnouts and frustration and has detrimental impacts on the student cognitive capabilities.

I hold the view that providing basic syllabus oriented education is not enough, schools should take comprehensive steps diligently for example, hold annual sports function, arrange a tour to informative place like museum, historic buildings. These particular activities will enhance pupil's knowledge and productivity to great extent.

In conclusion, although academic studies are generally essential for students prosperity and well-being, extracurricular performances solidify the children's intellectual trajectory towards significant achievements and make them more potent and authentic in judging the life's perspectives.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

The response addresses all parts of the prompt by discussing whether primary schools focus too much on formal learning and exploring the importance of play alongside study. You present a clear position from the introduction and maintain it throughout the essay. However, some ideas are under-developed or lack full explanation. For instance, phrases like 'achieve the sustainable future outcomes' or the mention of competitive pressure between schools are introduced but not fully expanded with strong, specific elaboration. To reach a higher level, you need to extend your supporting ideas further, providing richer detail and deeper exploration of how formal learning impacts children versus how play benefits them.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The essay displays a coherent overall arrangement with a clear attempt to structure the response into introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. Progression is evident as you move from the problems of formal learning to the solutions involving play. However, cohesion is at times mechanical or faulty. Devices such as 'On of the main reasons', 'Although, I do not refuse to admire', and 'In additions' reveal awkward transitions and referencing that is not always entirely clear. Paragraphing is used, but the internal logical flow within paragraphs needs more sophisticated linking words. To improve, you should focus on using cohesive devices more naturally and ensuring smooth, logical transitions between sentences and paragraphs.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You demonstrate an adequate vocabulary range for the task, successfully attempting less common and academic vocabulary such as 'extracurricular activities', 'detrimental impacts', and 'intellectual trajectory'. However, there are noticeable inaccuracies in word choice, collocation, and word formation that prevent a higher score. Examples include 'putting a ton of attention', 'historical picnics', 'On of the main reasons' (one of), 'basic course' (basic courses), and 'student cognitive capabilities' (students' cognitive capabilities). While communication is not severely impeded, these lexical slips show a need for greater precision. To enhance your lexical score, pay closer attention to natural collocations, fixed phrases, and accurate word forms.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

Your writing features a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, demonstrating attempts at varied structures such as concessive clauses ('Although, I do not refuse to admire...') and relative clauses. There are, however, some errors in grammar and punctuation throughout the text. Instances include subject-verb agreement and article issues, such as 'exposing students of primary schools with other beneficial activities' and 'kids minds' instead of 'kids' minds'. Furthermore, punctuation around introductory phrases and clauses requires better control. These errors rarely impede communication, but they occur frequently enough to keep the writing at this level. To progress, aim for greater accuracy in complex sentence patterns and polish your control over prepositions and punctuation.

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