Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-02

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.5)

Some individuals argue that primary schools place too much emphasis on formal learning and do not provide children with enough opportunities to play. I agree with this view because academic education is important, but play is equally necessary for children's overall development.

In many primary schools, children spend a considerable amount of time studying subjects such as mathematics,science and languages. Although these subjects provide essential knowledge and prepare children for their future education, excessive academic pressure can make young learners feel stressed and less interested in studying. At this age, children have limited attention spans, so spending several hours sitting in classroom may not always be an effective way of learning. Therefore, schools should avoid focusing exclusively on formal education.

Playing is extremly important for young children because it countributes to both their physical and social development. Outdoor activities such as football,running and skipping can improve children's physical health and coordination. In addition, games that involve several children can teach valuable social skills,including cooperation,communication and sharing. For example, when children play a team sport, they learn how to work together amd solve problems. Play can also stimulate creativity because children often create their own games and rules.

In conclusion, I agree that primary schools can sometimes place too much emphasis on formal learning. While, academic subjects are necessary, children should also have sufficient time to play because it helps them develop physically,socially and creatively. A balanced combination of study and play is therefore important in primary education.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

Your response addresses both parts of the prompt: you clearly state your agreement regarding excessive formal learning in primary schools and explain the importance of play for children. Your position is maintained throughout the essay. However, the development of your ideas is slightly uneven; while the benefits of play are reasonably well supported with examples such as team sports and physical health, the discussion of formal learning in the second paragraph remains somewhat general and lacks concrete examples. Furthermore, an important length check reveals that your response contains 247 words, narrowly missing the mandatory 250-word minimum requirement. To reach a higher level, you must ensure you fully develop every main idea with specific details or examples, and consistently meet the minimum word count.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 7.0

Your essay demonstrates a clear overall progression and logical arrangement of ideas. You effectively divide your response into a logical paragraph structure, moving smoothly from your introduction to body paragraphs focusing separately on academic learning and play, and finally concluding. You make good use of cohesive devices such as 'Although', 'In addition', and 'For example' to guide the reader through your arguments. However, referencing and cohesion occasionally feel a bit mechanical, and punctuation issues such as missing spaces after commas (e.g., 'mathematics,science' and 'physically,socially') slightly detract from the flow. To achieve the next band, you should aim for even more natural and flexible transitions between sentences and paragraphs while maintaining flawless formatting.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.0

You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, successfully using topic-specific terms like 'academic education', 'attention spans', 'coordination', and 'creativity'. You also make successful attempts to incorporate less common vocabulary items. However, there are some notable lexical errors and spelling mistakes that prevent a higher score, such as 'extremly' (extremely) and 'countributes' (contributes), alongside slightly awkward phrasing in places. To reach the next level, you need to expand your repertoire of less common lexical items with greater precision in style and collocation, while eliminating basic spelling errors through careful proofreading.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 6.5

You successfully use a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, demonstrating control over structures such as conditional-like clauses and subordinate clauses (e.g., 'Although these subjects provide essential knowledge...' and 'When children play a team sport, they learn...'). Grammatical errors are relatively infrequent and rarely impede communication, though there are occasional slip-ups such as article omissions or slight mechanical issues, including 'sitting in classroom' instead of 'sitting in classrooms' or 'sitting in a classroom', and a stray comma before 'academic subjects' in your conclusion. To move further up, you need to produce a higher frequency of error-free complex sentences and demonstrate a wider variety of sophisticated grammatical structures.

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