Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-03
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.
To what extent do you agree with this opinion?
How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 5.0)
It is widely believed that some people argue that primary schools focus more much on formal learning. I partially agree that both formal learning and classroom learning is best for students according to their own situations.
On the one hand , many people argued that primary schools focus too much on formal learning because it helps students to focus on points or lecture given by teachers or professsors.Firstly, it helps students to be more focused on their study and avoid districtions.For instance,the students who learn from online platforms sometimes they feel confused in several topic but in formal learning all doubts are cleared by professors.Secondly,in formal learning students are able to ask questions directly with teachers. Furthermore, these types of learning makes children to score good marks in exam.
On the another hand,it is important for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom because while playing games keeps students physically and mentally active.One main reason is if children play quize games it helps to increase their general knowledge. For example,the children who only focused on study gets low marks rather than the students who involved in both games and study.Another reasons ,playing games in classroom makes students to be free from depressions and enhance their ablity to memorize information.
In conclusion , the schools should focus on both formal learning and give time to students to plays favourable games that is possible to play in classroom.The education minister should make one day out of 7 days for students to do physical activities regarding to their study . It helps students to boost their critical thinking.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0
The response sits at this band because it only partially addresses the prompt's two-part question about formal learning and playing in the classroom. While the writer manages to present a partial agreement and mentions the benefits of play, the ideas remain limited and under-developed, relying on repetitive points like scoring good marks and avoiding distractions without sufficient expansion or specific real-world examples. Furthermore, the length requirement is not met, as the response contains only 248 words, falling just short of the 250-word minimum. To reach the next level, the writer needs to fully develop all parts of the task with extended explanations and ensure the minimum word count is consistently satisfied.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5
There is some basic organization present with recognizable paragraph breaks and rudimentary linking words such as 'On the one hand', 'Firstly', and 'In conclusion'. However, the overall progression lacks strong continuity, and cohesive devices are frequently mechanical, inaccurate, or repetitive, such as the frequent reuse of 'formal learning'. Referencing and logical transitions between sentences can be clunky, hindering a smooth flow of ideas throughout the essay. To improve, the writer should employ a wider variety of cohesive markers naturally, ensure referencing is precise, and build stronger logical bridges between paragraphs to establish a clearer overall progression.
Lexical Resource: Band 5.0
The vocabulary used is limited but minimally adequate for the task, allowing the writer to express basic concepts about education and play. Noticeable errors in word choice, word form, and spelling—such as 'districtions' for distractions, 'professsors', 'quize', and 'ablity'—occur frequently and may occasionally cause some difficulty for the reader. The range of vocabulary is restricted, and attempts at less common lexical items often result in inaccuracies. To achieve a higher band, the writer must expand their lexical repertoire, use precise word forms and collocations, and eliminate basic spelling mistakes through careful proofreading.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0
The writing demonstrates a limited range of sentence structures, relying primarily on simple sentences alongside frequent faulty attempts at complex ones. Frequent grammatical errors are present, including issues with subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'games keeps', 'reasons ,playing'), incorrect prepositions, and article omissions. These errors can cause some difficulty for the reader in places, although the general meaning remains discernible. To progress to the next level, the writer needs to incorporate a wider mix of error-free complex structures, pay closer attention to grammatical agreements, and improve overall accuracy in sentence construction and punctuation.
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