Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-03

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.5)

There is considerable debate over whether primary schools focus mainly on formal learning and the importance of sports along with academic lessons for the children. To cope up with the fast growing world, primary schools are focusing more on the academic learning. While doing so, in several schools, children are not getting enough opportunities to play games. Therefore, I largely agree with the opinion and believe that it is the utmost necessity to facilitate games and sports for children in their primary schools.

With the fast pacing advancement of the technologies, the world is changing rapidly in science and education. Primary schools play the most important role in preparing the children for the future world. Although academic learning is critical to compete with the current world, children should also focus on other co-curricular and cultural activities such as sports, travelling, poetry and music. Each of these are equally important as the regular academic lessons. In fact, several researchers believe such activities helps children to be more creative and intelligent to learn the lessens more effectively.

Among all the co-curricular activities, sports have significant impact on children, specifically for their physical fitness and mental well-being. By participating in sports, children compete with each others which can teach them fair and healthy competition. Furthermore, they learn to build effective strategies from the early days of their life. Consequently, children can become more organised in future and have the analytical skill in making critical decisions.

In conclusion, academic learning is important, so is the active participation in sports. It prepares children with knowledge and practise for not only to face the competitive world but also to develop their personal lives. Therefore, I believe that primary schools should focus equally on both academic learning and sports facilities.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

The response addresses all parts of the task, discussing both the focus on formal learning and the importance of play and sports in primary schools. Your position is clear throughout the essay, starting from the introduction and maintained in the conclusion. However, the ideas are developed to varying degrees. While the discussion on sports and physical and mental well-being is reasonably well supported, some other points, such as travelling, poetry, and music mentioned in the second paragraph, remain under-developed and are not fully integrated into the main arguments of the following paragraphs. To reach the next level, you need to ensure that every introduced idea is thoroughly explained and supported with sustained examples and reasoning throughout the body paragraphs.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 7.0

The essay demonstrates a clear logical organisation and progression throughout. Each paragraph has a clear central topic, starting with an introduction that outlines the debate and your stance, followed by well-sequenced body paragraphs that discuss academic learning versus co-curricular activities, and sports specifically. You use cohesive devices flexibly, such as 'While doing so', 'Although', 'Furthermore', and 'Consequently', which help to guide the reader smoothly through your arguments. Paragraphing is used sufficiently and appropriately, with each new idea cleanly separated into its own logical section. To move even higher, you could refine the transitions between paragraphs to make the flow of ideas feel entirely natural and unobtrusive.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.0

Your response uses an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, allowing you to communicate your ideas clearly. You attempt some less common vocabulary items, such as 'co-curricular and cultural activities', 'mental well-being', and 'analytical skill'. However, there are some inaccuracies in word choice, collocation, and phrasing. For instance, phrases like 'fast growing world', 'fast pacing advancement', and 'learn the lessens' contain minor lexical slips. Spelling is generally accurate, but occasional awkward collocations prevent the vocabulary from reaching a higher standard. To improve, focus on natural collocations and precise word choices, ensuring that less common vocabulary is used with absolute accuracy and appropriate style.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 6.5

The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, demonstrating a reasonable command of grammar. You successfully incorporate complex structures using subordinating conjunctions and relative clauses, such as 'While doing so, in several schools, children are not getting...' and 'Primary schools play the most important role in preparing the children for the future world.' There are some errors in grammar and punctuation, including preposition and infinitive mistakes such as 'cope up with' instead of 'cope with', 'each others' instead of 'each other', and minor article slips. However, these errors rarely impede communication, and you produce a mix of error-free sentences alongside minor slips. To achieve a higher band, aim for a wider variety of complex structures with consistently error-free control.

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