Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-03

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.5)

To many, elementary schools overly emphasize formal education. Whether that is correct or not is an issue of dispute. I personally completely agree that education should be more informal at the initial stages of life. I also think that it is crucial for children to have play time alongside studying in the primary school classroom due to its benefits.

Childhood is the phase of life where we are still developing our cognitive abilities. In this period if a child receives education that is catered towards engendering their abilities rather than teaching them to follow a rigid structure it is sure to be a more effective strategy. Think of an infant for example. When it is learning to speak, parents would to teach it the main parts of sentences, such as, "daddy go office", "mama sad". They don't try to teach the rules of grammer to a baby which would make them very confused and unable to learn. Now think of a child that has come from a very informal environment of home and is learning foreign things like maths, science, literature. All of which took humans hundreds even thousands of years to come up with in retrospect. So in my opinion, not further burdening them with a formal structure before they are comfortable with these subjects would be very beneficial for them.

On the otherhand, playing is more than a form of recreation for children. It is the natural way for them to develop their physical and mental faculties. Children spend a longtime everyday at school. Proper playtime during school hours ensures an adequet physical excersice through activities like running, jumping, climbing etc. Games like puzzels, tic tac toe help build a child improve a child's thinking capabilities. Schools also make it possible for children to play together in large groups which is favourable towards building social skills.

In conclusion, formal structre puts unnecessary pressure on children starting on the path of learning which is why I agree that schools focus on them is exessive. Meanwhile playtime ensures a child's proper physical and mental growth even during school hours.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 7.0

The response successfully addresses all parts of the prompt, exploring both whether formal learning is excessive and the importance of play alongside study. You present a clear position from the beginning and maintain it throughout the essay. The ideas are extended and supported well, such as your comparison with how infants learn to speak and your points regarding physical and mental development. However, there is a slight tendency to over-generalise in parts, such as grouping all subjects together as equally burdensome without deeper nuance, which is typical of this level. To reach a higher band, your supporting arguments would need more precise elaboration and depth rather than relying on broader assertions.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

Your essay demonstrates a coherent overall arrangement with a clear logical progression throughout. You make use of standard cohesive devices and paragraphing is used sufficiently to separate distinct ideas, such as moving from cognitive development to physical and social benefits. However, referencing and cohesion can occasionally feel somewhat mechanical or faulty, such as with transitional phrasing like "All of which took humans hundreds even thousands of years..." starting a sentence fragment, and "On the otherhand" needing better integration. To move further up, you need to demonstrate smoother, more flexible paragraph transitions and more sophisticated referencing without occasional lapses.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.0

You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, successfully attempting less common items like "cognitive abilities," "rigidbody structure," and "recreation." However, there are some noticeable vocabulary and spelling errors, such as "On the otherhand" (spacing), "adequet" (adequate), "excersice" (exercise), "puzzels" (puzzles), and "structre" (structure). These errors do not impede communication, but they highlight the limitations in control when attempting more complex or varied lexical choices. To achieve a higher score, you should expand your control over less common vocabulary and improve your spelling accuracy.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 6.0

You use a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, demonstrating an ability to construct multi-clause sentences effectively. There are some errors in grammar and punctuation, such as missing articles ("a child that has come from a very informal environment of home"), minor punctuation issues around direct speech, and verb form slips like "parents would to teach it." Fortunately, these errors rarely impede communication and your meaning remains clear throughout. To attain a higher band, you would need to produce a higher frequency of error-free sentences using a wider variety of complex structures with tighter grammatical control.

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