Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-03

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

In today's world, some individuals often argue that the primary schools put too much weight on formal learning rather than informal leaning. I strongly agree with the statement, and i believe that play is absolutely necessary to learn in the primary schools.

"I strongly agree that today's education has become too heavily focused on academic outcomes. In many modern school systems, children are forced to memorize formulas and complete excessive homework. For example, a child is sitting at his chair memorizing formulas for 6 hours straight is at the risk burnout and depression.

"Moreover, play is equally important, if not more so, for a child holistic development. Unlike formal learning, unstructured play allows children to develop essential social skills such as negotiation, leadership and teamwork, by interacting with their fellas. For example, when children engage in group games like football, they learn how to communicate, leadership and teamwork without even realising them. Additional, physical play improve motor skills and overall health.therefore children should play in play as well as learn in primary schools.

In conclusion, basic academic skills are important, the current too much weight on formal learning can be harmful. Play is not just a break. It is vital for children education and should be balanced with with academic study.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

The response addresses all parts of the two-part prompt by stating a clear position on formal learning and explaining the importance of play in primary schools. However, some ideas are under-developed or lack sufficient extension, such as the brief mentions of burnout and physical health. Furthermore, the response falls short of the word count requirement, containing only 211 words instead of the minimum 250 words. To reach a higher band, the writer must fully extend all supporting arguments with more detailed explanations and examples, while ensuring the minimum length is met.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The essay presents a coherent overall arrangement with a clear stance and distinct paragraphs. Cohesive devices are used to connect ideas, such as 'Moreover', 'For example', and 'In conclusion'. However, cohesion is sometimes mechanical, and referencing or transitions are occasionally weak, such as in the concluding paragraph where the sentence 'basic academic skills are important, the current too much weight on formal learning can be harmful' lacks a conjunction. Paragraphing is attempted, though stray quotation marks and fragmented text block structures slightly disrupt the flow. Better logical progression and smoother transitions between sentences are needed to elevate this aspect.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

The vocabulary used is adequate for the task, successfully conveying the writer's meaning. The student attempts less common vocabulary such as 'holistic development', 'unstructured play', and 'motor skills'. However, there are noticeable lexical errors, awkward phrasing, and word-formation issues, such as 'informal leaning' instead of 'informal learning', 'child holistic development' instead of 'child's holistic development', 'fellas' instead of 'peers', and 'Additional' instead of 'Additionally'. Spelling and word-choice errors do not completely impede communication, but they reflect a lower band range. A wider, more precise range of vocabulary with accurate word forms is required for higher bands.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

The response uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, demonstrating some variety in structure. However, there are a number of grammatical errors and punctuation issues throughout the text, including article omissions, subject-verb agreement errors, and preposition misuse, such as 'the primary schools', 'i believe', 'a child is sitting at his chair... is at the risk', 'communicate, leadership and teamwork', and 'balanced with with academic study'. Despite these errors, the meaning remains mostly clear and they rarely impede communication. To improve, the writer needs to increase the proportion of error-free sentences and exercise better control over complex grammatical patterns.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

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