Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-03

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.0)

It is often argued that primary educational institutes focus too much on acdemic learning.I strongly agree with this point, and I believe that playing games also crucial for kid growth. In this essay, I will discuss both answers and give my own opinion.

On the one hand, educational center concentrate more on acdemic learning at primary level. Because, acdemic success will beneficial for students to achieve their dream, and for securing their future. So, students staring develop intrest in education for pimary schools. For example, less playing activities has harmful effect on children growth and development. Hence, educational centers should try to encourage student on playing game in their lesiure time, so they can easily overcome issues health related like, stress and anxity etc.

Furthermore,I believe that by doing game activities in the classroom can develop creativity in kids. In addition, it also develop kids intrest towards education, which is beneficial for their development.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0

The response addresses the prompt partially, and it must be noted first that the length requirement of a minimum of 250 words is not met, as the student's response contains only 154 words. The writer presents a clear position regarding formal learning in primary schools and mentions both parts of the prompt, agreeing that schools focus too much on academic learning and stating that play is crucial. However, the ideas remain limited and under-developed. For instance, the argument that less playing has a harmful effect is stated without adequate explanation or specific examples, and the essay outlines a plan to discuss both answers in the introduction but fails to fully flesh out the arguments in the body paragraphs. To reach higher bands, the writer needs to expand the response well beyond the minimum word count and provide fully extended, well-supported arguments for every part of the prompt.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0

There is some basic organisation with the use of standard transitional markers such as 'On the one hand' and 'Furthermore', but there is no clear overall progression across the text. The paragraphing is disrupted and underdeveloped, particularly with the body of the essay compressed into a single dense paragraph that tries to handle multiple distinct ideas without sufficient separation or logical flow. Additionally, cohesive devices are sometimes mechanical or inaccurate, such as using 'Because' to start a sentence fragment ('Because, acdemic success will beneficial...'). Pronoun referencing and substitution are also occasionally unclear, making it harder for the reader to follow the exact logical chain of thought. To improve, the student should ensure each distinct main idea has its own well-structured paragraph and employ a wider, more natural range of cohesive relationships.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

The lexical resource is limited and minimally adequate for the task. The vocabulary used is simple and repetitive, with noticeable spelling and word-form errors that detract from the quality of the writing. For example, 'acdemic' is misspelled repeatedly, 'beneficial' is missing its verb form in 'will beneficial', and phrases like 'kid growth' and 'doing game activities' show awkward collocation. Other lexical slips include 'intrest' instead of interest, 'pimary' instead of primary, and 'lesiure' instead of leisure. While these errors do not completely prevent the reader from understanding the general meaning, they cause noticeable difficulty and restrict the text to a lower band. To achieve a higher score, the student must expand their vocabulary range, use precise word choices with correct collocations, and eliminate basic spelling mistakes.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

The writer uses a very limited range of sentence structures, relying mostly on simple sentences and basic attempts at complex forms that are frequently faulty. There are frequent errors in grammar and punctuation that cause difficulty for the reader. Examples include missing articles ('for kid growth', 'for primary schools'), incorrect verb forms ('students staring develop intrest' instead of starting to develop), and punctuation issues such as missing spaces after periods and unnecessary commas ('learning.I', 'Because, acdemic success'). Furthermore, prepositional usage is weak in expressions like 'issues health related like'. To move up to a higher band, the writer needs to demonstrate a greater variety of complex grammatical structures while significantly improving control over basic agreement, verb patterns, and punctuation.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

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