Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-03

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

In this contemporary society, the method of teaching in primary schools features in public debate. Some individuals believe that elementary schools focus too much on structural learning. I strongly agree with the above statement. In my opinion, childhood education should incorporate both play as well as learn in their curriculum. This essay will discuss my view and the importance of play in learning along with credible example and a reasoned conclusion.

The principal reasons for my opinion stem from several factors. Firsty, nowadays primary education is too much focus on systamatic learning instead of including more playful activities. To elucidate, current education system formated to prepare young children for competitive environment. Because of this from the childhood pupil did not get time to enjoy activities and find their talents. This will result to stress and anxiety among young students. For instance, according to the report published by NIMHANS, six out of ten children below 12 years having the ealry symptoms of stress and anxiety in urban India. Thus, rigid learning methods will not give a great output for primary children, rather a curriculum that combain play and study will work efficienty.

Another factor of paramount importance that support my perception is childhood education should be based on play. To elaborate, during the primary education children are in a phase of neurological development. Because of that adding play and other activities to teaching method will enhance their ability to develop better imagination and the cognitive skills. By this, play based primary learning will not only help toddlers to expand their inborn skills but also allow them to make grow the ability to understand surroundings. The prime example of this can be the Japanese government strictly added gamified education for primary eduction pedagogy through out the country. Hence, playful learning has a crucial role in the development of creativity among the children.

To recapitulate, primary education should concentrate on enchancing the childrens mental ability rather than just focus on numerical results. So, through a play based education system children can develop their creativity and imagination that will make learing more stress free and enjoyable.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

The response addresses all parts of the two-part prompt, presenting a clear position agreeing with the excessive focus on formal learning and discussing the importance of play. The ideas are generally relevant, fulfilling the criteria for a solid pass, with some elements of higher bands starting to emerge through the use of a supportive example from NIMHANS and the mention of Japanese pedagogy. However, certain supporting ideas remain slightly under-developed rather than fully extended throughout the body paragraphs. For instance, the discussion on the current competitive environment and stress could be taken further to match the standard of fully sustained elaboration seen at higher levels. Nevertheless, the main thrust of the prompt is tackled adequately, providing a transparent stance from the introduction through to the conclusion.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The response maintains a coherent overall arrangement with a clear progression of ideas across paragraphs, making use of standard organisational structures including an introduction, two body paragraphs addressing the prompts, and a concluding summary. Cohesive devices are employed to connect sentences, such as 'Firsty', 'To elucidate', and 'Another factor of paramount importance', which successfully signpost the logical flow. However, some cohesive elements and referencing are occasionally mechanical or slightly repetitive in structure. Paragraphing is used sufficiently and appropriately to separate distinct arguments, though smoother transitions between sentences would help lift the essay further up the scale by making the cohesion completely natural and unobtrusive.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

The vocabulary used is adequate for the task, demonstrating an attempt to incorporate less common lexical items such as 'contemporary society', 'neurological development', and 'pedagogy'. However, there are noticeable limitations and inaccuracies in word choice, collocation, and word formation. Examples include 'structural learning' instead of 'structured learning', 'Firsty' instead of 'Firstly', 'formated' instead of 'formatted', 'combain' instead of 'combine', and 'enchancing' instead of 'enhancing'. Spelling errors and awkward phrasing appear frequently enough to restrict the lexical score, although communication is rarely impeded since the intended meaning usually remains clear to the reader despite the slips.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

The writer demonstrates a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, attempting relative clauses and conditional structures. However, control over grammatical accuracy is inconsistent, with frequent errors in articles, prepositions, verb forms, and subject-verb agreement. Examples of structural and grammatical inaccuracies include 'primary education is too much focus on', 'from the childhood pupil did not get time', 'children below 12 years having the ealry symptoms', and 'children are in a phase of neurological development' where punctuation and modifiers could be refined. While these errors occur regularly, they rarely completely impede communication, though they prevent the grammar from achieving the consistent control and frequency of error-free sentences required at higher levels.

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