Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-03

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 4.5)

These ndays incrising number of people improve skills on practical base knowledge. Certain people give opinion that primary education institutes focus more on formal studying. If questioned, I agree with this statement to a large extent. My stance is justified in the upcoming paragraphs with valis reason and appropriate examples.

The fundamental reason for my inclination is that, teacher could tech practical base knowledge rather than theory based however they can improve their skills. But that time student and teacher also work on formal learning not improve ither skill that not enogh for our future situation. In that genration people used technology that's why they could improve more knowledge. As example, in school student can do work on computer and after we graduate for job otherwise they did not success.

Other skills important do i think it if for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom. Some student play more then study. When they focus on play so their student paly an international level. That thing important becuase they play in addition they got medal for our nation. An example, in my class one student was bad in study but they play chess on international level. So different telent on various student. We can not judge book by cover.

In colclusion, teacher can do other activities on study base and physical because teacher improve student's mental and physical health. We also do formal study but we can work on other skills. They skills are important in their future but formal learning is only base on that grade.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.5

The response meets the task only minimally, as the word count falls short of the two hundred and fifty-word minimum by one word (excluding the copied prompt). While the writer attempts to address both prompts regarding formal learning and play in primary schools, the ideas are limited and under-developed. The position is stated at the beginning, but the supporting arguments remain vague and repetitive. For example, the notion that children need practical knowledge like computers or chess is introduced briefly without sufficient elaboration or clear connection to the prompt. To reach a higher level, the writer needs to fully address all parts of the task with well-developed ideas and examples, ensuring the minimum word count is comfortably met.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0

There is some organisation evident with basic paragraphing, but the essay lacks a clear overall progression of ideas. Cohesive devices are frequently inadequate, inaccurate, or overused, making the flow disjointed. Transitions between sentences and paragraphs feel mechanical and abrupt, such as the sudden shift from computers to chess in the third paragraph. Referencing is also unclear at times, leaving the reader confused about pronoun antecedents like 'that thing' or 'they play'. To improve, the writer should ensure logical organisation throughout, use a wider and more accurate range of cohesive devices naturally, and structure paragraphs so that each develops a single clear theme.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

The vocabulary used is limited and barely adequate for the task, containing frequent spelling errors and awkward word choices that occasionally impede communication. Words like 'incrising', 'valis', 'tech', 'ither', 'genration', and 'telent' demonstrate noticeable spelling and word-form issues. Furthermore, the range is basic and repetitive, relying on simple phrases like 'practical base knowledge' and 'formal studying' rather than demonstrating flexibility or precision. To move up the band scale, the writer must expand their lexical repertoire, incorporate less common vocabulary with appropriate collocations, and pay much closer attention to accurate spelling and word formation.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

The grammatical range is quite limited, consisting of a mix of simple and heavily error-prone structures. Attempts at complex sentences are frequently faulty, leading to frequent errors in verb tenses, subject-verb agreement, articles, and sentence boundaries. Examples such as 'teacher could tech practical base knowledge' and 'When they focus on play so their student paly an international level' demonstrate persistent inaccuracies that can cause difficulty for the reader. To achieve a higher score, the writer needs to demonstrate a greater variety of complex sentence forms with a high proportion of error-free sentences, alongside better control over basic grammar rules and punctuation.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

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