Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-03

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Primary schools are very important pillar of a society, they are responsible to build a nation. The responsibility of young studentsor children and new-commers are on the primary schools. According to science, the age of four to twelve years is very important age because in this age a student or a child learn that how to write, how to speak in society, how to give respect to thier elders and how to play. Besides that this is the same age in which a students or childern bones become strong and fit and this is the age in which height is increasing by the activites of children.

In our socitey, our primary focus is just on the formal learning and I totally agree with this because in 1980's to 2000's the school education in primary stage is not just formal learning and only three or four relevent books were included in the course of students which includes the names of fruits or vagetables, the numbers or accounts, native language books and a books of arts or games and the students play sports like cricket, football and many other sports in the grounds and sports complex. The teachers were also very coperative and focused on the building on a nation who have sharp minds and physically fit nation rather then the bored nation. In today's society according to my prespective mostly of the primary schools focuing much on formal learning and there are no sports activites involved in primary level of education. The students in thier primary level of eduaction are going through the books of of secondary level which was taught in 1980's to 2000's. The classroom is just an area where a students learn about the past, present, future and work on the ethics, behaviour, culture and norm of their society but the body and minds only sharp when the students were in the grounds and play cricket or other games. The competition between two or more teams are very important in the primary level of eduaction, so that children learn how to grow fast in the society and how the society reacts if anyone fails.

Games are very important element of children to grow but the eduaction is far more pivotal in children life because if anyone focus only on the games and playing activites then they losees their intrest in education and in the result even if they select to play at national or international level for their province or country but they cannot represnt the nation properly and having a serious language barrier just because they did not focus in thier eduaction and just on the games

At the last, I agree that the formal education is important in children life in just the extent to teach them thier culture and eduacte them that how to give respect to thier elders but only eduaction or primary learning is not important, playing games sharp the mind and makes a strong nation by building strong children and they learn from their child level that how to play and which game is suitable for them.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

The response addresses all parts of the task by discussing whether primary schools focus too much on formal learning and explaining the importance of play alongside study. However, some ideas are under-developed or lack clarity. For example, while the writer states a clear agreement with the premise, the explanation regarding past and present educational differences is convoluted and repetitive, making the reasoning slightly unclear at times. The position is visible throughout the essay, but the arguments could be extended with more precise examples and tighter logical connections to fully satisfy the requirements of a higher band.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0

The essay presents a coherent overall arrangement with paragraphs used to group ideas, such as the introduction of the topic, the discussion on formal learning, the counter-perspective on games, and the conclusion. However, cohesion is sometimes faulty or mechanical. Words and phrases like 'Besides that', 'In our socitey', and 'At the last' are used repetitively or awkwardly to link sentences and paragraphs. Referencing is also occasionally unclear, particularly with pronoun use like 'they losees their intrest', which makes the progression of ideas feel a bit disjointed rather than naturally flowing.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

The writer demonstrates an adequate range of vocabulary for the task and attempts less common vocabulary, such as 'pivotal', 'language barrier', and 'provincial or international level'. However, there are noticeable spelling and word-choice errors throughout the text, such as 'new-commers', 'thier', 'vagetables', 'coperative', 'prespective', and 'focuing'. While these errors do not completely impede communication, they reflect inaccuracies in word formation and spelling that prevent the response from achieving a higher level of lexical control.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

The essay displays a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, demonstrating an attempt to construct multi-clause sentences. However, there are frequent errors in grammar and punctuation, particularly regarding verb forms, subject-verb agreement, and articles. Examples include 'Primary schools are very important pillar', 'a student or a child learn', 'height is increasing by the activites', 'the school education in primary stage is not just', and 'the students were in the grounds'. Although these errors occur across various structures, the meaning remains mostly clear to the reader.

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