Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-03

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.5)

In today's competitive world, there has been increasing focus on academic learning from an early age. While some people argue that primary schools should concentrate more on formal subjects, I believe that physical education also plays an indispenible role in nurturing children towards achieving long term success.

On the one hand, focusing more on academics emphasises children to score higher and this in turn helps them achieve a seat in higher educational centres. Furthermore, well renowed universities prefer students with better educational qualifications and this ensures that the students can secure good employment opportunities. However, this does not ensure that the students can develop various essential skills that would be useful for a person in the long term. Moreover, children would be put into unnecessary stress from an early age focusing only on formal learning. So, in my opinion, physical education which offers numerous benefits is equally important alongside the formal education for the primary school going children.

On the other hand, physical education in the schools provides tremendous benefits for the children pertaining to long term success. Firstly, sport activities hepls instill discipline, critical thinking and build interactive relationships among the children. Some games like chess for instance, helps a child to improve critical thinking and problem solving skills which are considered valuable skills essential for long term success. Secondly, these extra-curricular activities helps students to relieve stress and undwind that improves their mental health. Similarly, playing some kind of sport also helps a child to stay fit and remain physically active which fosters overall well-being.

To conclude, although it is imerative to score higher in academics for achieving a well-secured position in this highly competitive society, focussing on formal learning should not happen at the cost of physical education. Encouraging children to balance main subjects along with sports helps a student to gain better skills that would further help in the betterment of their employment.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

The response addresses all parts of the two-part prompt, acknowledging both the focus on formal learning and the importance of play and physical education. The writer establishes a clear position stating that physical education is equally important for long-term success. However, the development of ideas is uneven, a hallmark of this band level. While the first body paragraph touches upon academic pressure and university entrance, the explanation remains somewhat generalized. The second body paragraph attempts to support the benefits of sports with examples like chess, but the arguments could be extended further with deeper explanation. The response successfully meets all requirements of the task prompt, showing elements of higher achievement through its clear stance, but falls short of full extension and thorough support across every single point raised.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The essay displays a coherent overall arrangement with a clear logical progression from introduction to body paragraphs and a final conclusion. Paragraphing is used appropriately, dividing the arguments into distinct academic and physical education perspectives. Cohesive devices are employed to signal transitions, such as 'On the one hand', 'On the other hand', and 'To conclude'. However, cohesion can occasionally feel mechanical or repetitive, and referencing is not always completely smooth. For instance, transitional phrases link paragraphs together mechanically rather than establishing completely fluid conceptual bridges. To progress further, the writer needs to ensure that cohesive ties are managed more flexibly and that logical progression within paragraphs flows naturally without relying on formulaic signposts.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.0

The vocabulary used is adequate for the task, successfully communicating the writer's ideas. There are clear attempts to use less common items and academic vocabulary, such as 'indispenible' and 'imperative', demonstrating a reasonable range. However, there are noticeable spelling errors ('indispenible', 'renowed', 'hepls', 'imerative', 'focussing') and occasional inaccuracies in word choice and collocation, such as 'emphasises children to score higher' instead of 'encourages'. These lexical errors do not impede communication, allowing the reader to follow the arguments easily, but they prevent the writing from achieving a higher band. A stronger control of word forms, spelling, and precise collocations is necessary to elevate this criterion.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 6.0

The response demonstrates a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, utilizing relative clauses and introductory subordinate structures effectively. There are several error-free sentences, particularly in the opening and concluding sections. However, some errors in grammar and punctuation persist throughout the text, such as prepositional usage and minor agreement slips (e.g., 'games like chess for instance, helps' where the plural subject takes a singular verb). Despite these lapses, the structures are generally controlled, and the errors rarely impede communication or cause confusion for the reader. To reach the next level, the writer needs to produce a greater frequency of error-free complex sentences and refine punctuation control.

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