Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-03
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.
To what extent do you agree with this opinion?
How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 5.5)
some say, childrens in primary schools should focus too much on formal learning, I strongly disagree with this opinion because students should give an equal importants to physical activites as formal learning.
I disagree with this statement, that learns should focus too much on formal learning, because it results in more stress to students. Scholars who tends to study for longer hours have high chances of getting obescity. They won't interact with others and become alone in when they get older. For example, students who study for longer hours and tends to get good marks in all subjects end up having few friends. it will be harder for them to interact with others when they get older.
It is very important, childrens should go out and play, Playing is kind of fun exercise. It will help increase the blood flow to the brain which will sharpen their mind and able to focus better on classrooms. Also helps burn more calories. Childrens will feel more relaxed and less stressed. For example, students who play football daily remains to stay fit and less stressed
In conclusion, it is argue that students should focus only on formal learning and I totally disagres with this statement because it will have more stress on childrens. It is equally important for them to play which help develop their brain and stay fit
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5
The response addresses all parts of the two-part prompt, taking a clear stance against an excessive focus on formal learning and highlighting the importance of play. However, the ideas remain somewhat limited and under-developed, relying on repetitive arguments rather than thorough exploration. For instance, the point regarding obesity and lack of social interaction is introduced but not sufficiently supported with well-reasoned explanations or comprehensive examples. Furthermore, the length requirement is not met, as the response falls short of the minimum two hundred and fifty-word limit, which impacts the overall completeness of the task.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5
The essay displays some organizational structure with a discernible introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, establishing an overall arrangement for the text. However, there is no clear overall progression of ideas, as sentences within paragraphs tend to repeat similar points without advancing the argument smoothly. Cohesive devices are used, but they are frequently repetitive or mechanical, such as the frequent reliance on 'For example' and 'Also'. Paragraphing is attempted, but the grouping of ideas lacks seamless transitions, resulting in a slightly disjointed reading experience that hinders the flow of the text.
Lexical Resource: Band 5.0
The vocabulary used is limited but minimally adequate to convey the basic message of the essay. There are noticeable errors in word form, choice, and spelling that occasionally cause difficulty for the reader, such as writing 'childrens', 'importants', 'activites', 'obescity', and 'disagres'. The writer attempts to use less common vocabulary like 'obesity' and 'physical activities', but these attempts are marred by inaccurate forms and awkward collocations. Spelling mistakes and inappropriate word choices restrict the lexical range to a basic level, preventing the response from achieving a higher band.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0
The grammar demonstrates a limited range of sentence structures, primarily consisting of simple sentences and basic complex forms. Attempts at more complex structures are frequently faulty, leading to frequent errors in grammar, punctuation, and agreement. Examples include comma splices like 'some say, childrens in primary schools should focus too much on formal learning, I strongly disagree', tense inconsistencies such as 'Scholars who tends', and missing auxiliary verbs or incorrect verb complements like 'which will sharpen their mind and able to focus'. These frequent errors require the reader to decode the meaning, characteristic of this grammatical level.
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