Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-03

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.0)

Many parents claim that junior school only pay attention on formal learning. I strongly agree with this view because education is essential for future and long term benefits for students.

Firstly focusing on study it is much important for every students for their better future and skill developing. Study helps children in future development and for giving bright job, business skills and great communication skills. Focusing on studies helps children gain knowledge and skills required for having a good career. For instance students who have good knowledge and good at their studies often get admission in reputed universities.

Secondly playing also important for children during their learning time. Playing with classmates and friends also necessary for each children. By this children learn how to combine with each other and how to deal with different nature child. It also important like study to do teamwork. By playing with each other they learn how to deal with combination of persons. It also develop a curiosity to learn thing from others. Play develops good qualities to children so it also having an importance like study.

In conclusion, while study does have their certain benefits for children but playing also have much important for developing of children. Academic learning is important for developing a better future and career but playing of children at pre school is much necessary for their future skill developing. So i totally agree with this statement playing is much important thing for children as well as learning in primary school.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

The response addresses the main parts of the prompt by discussing formal learning and the importance of play, establishing a clear stance. However, the development of ideas remains limited and under-developed, which restricts the depth of the argument. For instance, the discussion on why formal learning is essential relies on repetitive claims about a 'better future and career' without providing specific examples or broader perspectives. Similarly, the points about playing and teamwork, such as 'how to combine with each other and how to deal with different nature child,' are expressed in a simplistic and repetitive manner rather than being fully extended. To reach a higher level, the writer needs to provide more thorough explanations, substantiate arguments with concrete examples, and avoid circular reasoning.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0

The essay displays some basic organization, utilizing four distinct paragraphs that mirror a standard introduction, two body paragraphs, and a conclusion. However, there is no clear overall progression of thought, and the logical flow between sentences feels disjointed. Cohesive devices are used in a very repetitive and mechanical way, notably with transitional adverbs like 'Firstly', 'Secondly', and 'In conclusion'. Furthermore, referencing and referencing-like phrasing are unclear at times, such as 'By this children learn how to combine with each other' and 'It also important like study to do teamwork', which disrupts the tracking of ideas. To improve coherence, the writer should employ a wider and more accurate range of cohesive ties and ensure that ideas flow naturally from one sentence to the next without abrupt shifts.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

The vocabulary used is limited and barely adequate for the task, featuring frequent repetition of basic terms like 'children', 'study', 'learning', and 'important'. There are noticeable errors in word choice, word form, and collocation that occasionally cause difficulty or confusion for the reader, such as 'junior school only pay attention on formal learning', 'giving bright job', and 'different nature child'. The attempt to use less common vocabulary is minimal, and spelling errors or awkward phrasing appear throughout the text. To achieve a stronger score, the writer must expand their lexical repertoire, pay closer attention to natural collocations and word forms, and reduce reliance on simple, repetitive phrasing.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

The grammatical range is quite limited, relying mostly on simple sentences alongside a few faulty attempts at complex structures. There are frequent errors in grammar and punctuation that can cause difficulty for the reader, including subject-verb agreement issues like 'junior school only pay attention', missing articles such as 'for future and long term benefits', and incorrect prepositional usage within patterns like 'focusing on study it is much important'. Punctuation is also problematic, marked by missing commas in introductory phrases and run-on structures. To progress, the writer needs to demonstrate a greater variety of complex sentence forms with accurate punctuation and reduce the density of basic grammatical errors.

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