Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-03

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Few people favours the agrument about formal learning for primary school children and not considering the extra-curricular activities as much important as it should be. However, I strognly agree that the extra-curricular activities should be mandatory for primary school children along side formal curricular activtities. In this essay, I will be discussing the importance of extra curricular activties for primary school children.

To begin with, I would like to explain that playing in the primary school classroom helps children to learn faster then reading books and speaking sentences using books. Child's mind works more when they enjoy because in that situation, there is no pressure on them to study; which enables them to learn faster and understand much better. Teachers needs to teach them through audio clips like songs and videos visuals. For example, in a research conducted by Karachi private school association, which was published on Daily Dawn in May 2026. The reasearch identify the trend of high performance among school children when they were taught with videos and songs as compared to children without video and songs. 85% of children show improved results from their previous marks.

Furthermore, extra-curricular activities develop the child's personality. Today, the coutries like Japan, China, the US and other developed countries are wining gold medals in every sports. It is due to their learning system which is designed in a way that students not only learn formal learning but they start participating in the sports which is mandatory for every student. For example, famous tennis star Sania Mirza starts playing tennis when she was three years old and going forward she won many international awards for her nation. She not only play tennis, but she is a successful business women.

To conclude, I strongly believe that governments around the globe should make sports mandatory along with formal teachings so that young talent not only prosper in the relevant field of study but also contribute the nation's success.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

The response addresses all parts of the task by discussing the extent of formal learning in primary schools and the importance of play and extra-curricular activities. A clear position is maintained throughout, expressing strong agreement that play and activities should be mandatory. However, some ideas are more fully developed than others. For instance, the first body paragraph provides a specific research example about audio-visual learning, while the second body paragraph relies on broader claims about countries like Japan and China and mentions Sania Mirza without fully connecting her business success back to primary school classroom environments. The main arguments are relevant, but extending the discussion regarding how play specifically balances formal instruction would lift the response to the next level.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The essay presents a coherent overall arrangement with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Paragraphing is used sufficiently to separate distinct points, such as learning methods and personality development. Cohesive devices are employed to signal transitions, with phrases like 'To begin with', 'Furthermore', and 'To conclude' guiding the reader through the structure. However, referencing and cohesion are at times slightly mechanical or repetitive, and referencing pronouns like 'which' in sentence structures occasionally creates minor flow disruptions. To reach a higher band, the progression between sentences could be made smoother through more varied and subtle cohesive links.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

An adequate range of vocabulary is used for the task, successfully communicating the writer's stance on education. There are attempts to use less common vocabulary and phraseology, such as 'extra-curricular activities', 'mandatory', and 'international awards'. However, the response contains noticeable spelling and word-choice errors, including 'favours' instead of 'favour', 'agrument', 'strognly', 'activtities', and 'coutries'. Additionally, collocations are occasionally awkward, such as 'formal curricular activtities' or 'contribute the nation's success'. These lexical inaccuracies do not impede overall communication, but they highlight the limitations in word choice and spelling control that keep the score at this level.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

The writer demonstrates a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, incorporating relative clauses and conditional structures. There are several error-free sentences, such as 'In this essay, I will be discussing the importance of extra curricular activties for primary school children.' Nevertheless, a number of grammatical errors and inappropriate articles or verb forms persist throughout the text, including subject-verb agreement issues ('Teachers needs to teach'), awkward tense shifts ('starts playing' instead of 'started playing'), and missing articles ('in a research conducted by'). While these errors are present, they rarely impede communication, allowing the reader to follow the argument without significant difficulty.

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