Band 4.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-04

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 4.0)

To begin with, there are several reasons primary schools focus on learning is important in our daily life. The main reason is that children also play the classroom not learning the lesson can have dircet effect on teachers and parents. Many children face this problem in their daily live, it can influence their lifestyle in different way. For example it may affect learning, lesson, writting, speaking, reading, educatinal or relationships. The primary school not focus the children and the learning the lesson and not also play the games and hobbies. In addition, children and families can also play an influenced by this situations. The children not focus the study not prepreining the test and not good the result . The children can have not sucsess the feuture. It mainly depnds on how people use it and how they deal with the situations.

Moreover, some possible children learning the lesson and focus the study way to improve the situation. The educational system should have proper knowledge and should make responsible decisions. The government , schools and families can play an important role by providing guidance and supports. The children rules can have better awareness can help people make better choices .

In conclusion children not focus the learning and schools classroom poor awareness that issue important not should be ignored . Teachers and parents should have proper knowledge and should make responsible decisions . The children work together can have negative effects reduced and learning situation the improved . The main point is that learning the lesson children way to improved .

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 3.5

The response addresses the task only minimally, touching upon the themes of primary school education and play, but fails to develop a clear position or coherent arguments. The ideas presented are heavily generalized and repetitive, such as stating that children not focusing on the lesson can have a direct effect on teachers and parents without explaining how or why. Furthermore, the two-part prompt requires discussing the extent of agreement regarding formal learning and the importance of play; however, the student struggles to explore these concepts in a structured or meaningful way. The ideas remain severely limited and under-developed, making it difficult for the reader to follow a clear line of argumentation.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.0

The response demonstrates significant issues with organization and overall progression. While basic paragraphing is attempted, the information and ideas are not arranged coherently, leading to a disjointed reading experience. Cohesive devices are largely absent, inadequate, or repetitive, with transitions like 'To begin with,' 'Moreover,' and 'In conclusion' used mechanically without effectively linking the sentences logically. Referencing is frequently unclear, as seen in phrases like 'how people use it,' where the antecedent is entirely missing. There is no clear logical progression of thought from one sentence to the next, causing the essay to feel fragmented.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

The vocabulary used is basic, repetitive, and restricted to simple terms, reflecting a limited and minimally adequate range. Throughout the text, there are noticeable errors in word choice, collocation, and word formation, such as 'dircet' instead of 'direct,' 'educatinal,' 'prepreining,' and 'sucsess the feuture.' These lexical errors, alongside frequent spelling mistakes, often strain the reader and obscure the intended meaning. The student attempts to use less common words like 'responsibility' and 'awareness' but applies them inaccurately or in awkward contexts, preventing the achievement of a higher band level.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

The grammatical range is very limited, consisting predominantly of simple sentence structures with frequent structural failures when complex forms are attempted. There are pervasive errors in verb forms, tenses, subject-verb agreement, and articles throughout the response, such as 'primary schools focus on learning is important,' 'children also play the classroom not learning,' and 'children not focus the study not prepreining the test.' Punctuation is also poorly managed, with missing commas and incorrect sentence boundaries creating run-on thoughts. These frequent errors cause considerable difficulty for the reader and heavily impede communication.

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